With Samantha, we heard about “funky spunk” guy, but she was a serial dater, so it didn’t much matter who she got with. I remember the woman artist she was with and the guy with a small dick, but that’s about it. Oh, Richard, and of course Smith. I thought Richard was a dick, and Smith was okay. Younger than everybody, but at least he was nice to Samantha during her cancer battle.
Charlotte, the wholesome, seemingly innocent sorority girl, got a serving of “Dirty Talk Guy” and the “White Knight” who left a trail of recently slugged men in his wake. She was probably the most likely to die at the hands of a serial killer. But she skipped the ear plugs and got rid of Sluggo. She ended up with a somewhat nebishy New York lawyer who didn’t seem like her type either. He certainly didn’t fit Charlotte’s type: WASPY New York banker types who graduated from prep schools and expensive colleges.
Remember Miranda’s “Catholic Guy”? Her beef was that he always showered after sex. That’s bad?
My one and only boyfriend stood in front of me once and asked me if I smelled bad. I smelled him and told him he seemed okay, but I asked why I was smelling him. He said he couldn’t remember the last time he showered. I told him to take a fucking shower.
So Miranda, does Catholic Guy seem so bad now? Well, dumb question. She hooked up with Steve, who supposedly has decent hygiene but a hefty body count. Steve had that refreshingly “young” vibe about him, but had strangely unrealistic goals for his and Miranda’s relationship. He wanted to have a baby with her, but settled for a puppy. Then they actually had the baby, and considering the writers and their gay bosses, did what we all knew she was going to do and kept the baby. Of course she did! She’s Miranda! She’s Superwoman! What I wonder is why she didn’t go for someone more ambitious, but then love is strange, I guess. We envision people with certain types of people, then we get floored when the drop-dead gorgeous woman ends up with a toad for a husband. Or some tall, skinny guy ends up with a butterball. Or someone with decent manners ends up with someone raised in a barn. Steve had skid-marks, which is disgusting. But that’s what happens when you do your boyfriend’s laundry. Samantha would NEVER have put up with that bullshit.
It’s a long one, but I’m breaking it up into several parts. It will be a thought-provoking week. And huge thanks to the people reading my blog! The numbers have been great (for me, at least!)
I remember the phenomenon of Sex and the City. We must not have had HBO. I shared a hotel room with some friends on a trip and getting excited about watching an episode. And no, I can’t remember what episode it was.
The show seems a bit problematic now, but one of the things that irked me about the show were the boyfriends. The ladies were complaining about them. And I’m thinking, “What the fuck are you complaining about?” Why?
Because the men aren’t all that terrible. The things women were complaining about were minor.
Hear me out. Did the women honestly have to worry about being murdered? No. These days, when women go out, they have to update their friends, especially when dating someone new.
Back then, was it different? It sure seemed like it. Because the women were complaining about stuff that made me roll my eyes.
I’m almost done with grading and I was focusing on that. So hopefully I’ll have better content soon. I didn’t upload before midnight tonight, so it may show up as me skipping a day on my record. Oh well.
I got up to get my meds from the hospital, picked up Spring Festival gifts, then went back to bed and slept. I should not have done that. But it was cold and gloomy, and on my walk tonight I was nearly home when it started to sprinkle
I must have miscounted, or else I’m grading someone else’s class’s exams. Not sure how I ended up with 85 exam papers to grade, but whatever. Got 17 done tonight. I’ll chip away at them.
But time to get back on the low carb diet. I really felt it these past few days. Lethargic, wanting to nap, ugh. If nothing else, I gotta stick with it so I continue to feel like living.
I’ve been taking a break from eating low carb. I definitely notice a difference. Despite going low carb for three weeks now, I’ve not seen a difference in my weight. But I HAVE felt a difference in terms of energy and great blood sugar levels.
My blood pressure is up too, but some blood pressure medicine is helping with that. I’ve also tried to get out about five times a week for exercise. I walk for an hour, then come back to my complex and jog around the courtyard for 10 minutes. Sometimes I cap it off with belly dancing. I SHOULD do an intense half hour of core workouts. That, plus a diet of celery and water, might take off 000000000.1 of an inch off my stomach.
Really, it’s frustrating to go low carb and not see a difference on the scale. So I decided to “treat” myself for a few days. Right away, I’ve noticed a difference. Harder to get to sleep, brain fog, and a general lethargy.
But I ordered some ketone testing strips, and they came right away. I was thankful for this, because the first strips I ordered weren’t what I wanted, after I’d opened the package. Ketone testing strips come in a little tube with tiny squares on the side. The object is to pee on the little testing strip, and see if it turns color. If it’s turning purple, your body is burning fat for energy. The strips I ordered tested protein in urine. Realizing my mistake, I placed a second order, which came the next day.
I’ll get back on low carb on Monday, and see if I can do an absolute no carb day. This would mean eating nothing that had carbs at all. Even at 20 carbs a day, I could go for a walk and a jog and possbily bring the number of carbs I have on that day to zero. Calories burned is easy to find; carbs burned is a bit harder.
Because I’m taking a break from carbs for a few days, I bought some strawberries and drenched them in whipped cream. I also loaded up on cherry tomatoes and radishes. Soaking bacon in water before frying takes down the salt content a little. Although I probably shouldn’t be eating so much of it.
Which is why when I was in Hong Kong, I was so glad to be across the street from a Marks and Spencer, which sold small packages of cut up turkey. It’s something I’d like to see here in the mainland, except turkey is not common here. Duck is, which is something that I CAN have, except I’m not used to seeing so many bones in meat.
On Facebook, there’s a group that I am in and follow, and it has to do with work. Frequently, people post requests for advice in finding jobs. The posts go a little something like this:
Hello! I’m currently employed, but my job is driving me crazy. I don’t get acknowledged for the hard work I do, and the person who sits behind me eats crunchy food, which annoys me. I’d love to work from home. Actually, I NEED to work from home because I can’t stand being around other people. I don’t have a degree, but I have 20+ years in the workforce. I have ADHD, Autism, I’m allergic to nuts, have a bad back so I can’t lift more than 10 pounds, and I’m on several medications. Does anyone know of a job where I can work from home, doesn’t require a degree, not have the boss breathing down my back, adequate support if I run into a problem, great insurance and be paid at least $25 an hour? Thanks!
Please bear in mind I’m not really mocking these people. I’m here to say, “work is a four-letter word.”
When I was younger, it never really occured to me I could make a living doing what I liked. That period of time only happened maybe once, and it was for three years. I STILL wasn’t able to write about whatever I wanted; that had to come in the form of a ‘zine I published myself. I offered to write movie reviews, but was downvoted on that because if the one movie theater in town was running a movie I didn’t like, well, there go the profits.
And it still kind of blows my mind that people look for that in terms of jobs. I get that people don’t really want to do something they hate for a living, but to me, a job is a way to get money. It’s nice if you DON’T hate your job, but it’s rare to enjoy it. So the idea of having a way to make money that I actually enjoy really sort of shocks me. Is that how life really works?
And I’m well aware the difficulties disabled people have to deal with in order to find work. Especially work that supports at least one single person. With the way rent is now, I think the average person should be pulling down $4,000 a month after taxes, if not just a bit more. How many grocery shelf stockers are earning that kind of coin?
How many cashiers?
How many office workers?
How many work from home employees?
I’ve pretty much decided that when I do decide to go back to the United States, I’ll have to change careers. It’s going to be a hell of an age to do that, but I will say the career that I’m planning to train for (yet again) got me a job when I needed it. And it got me another job when I needed it. Then I stopped doing it because I got moved to another part of the company. But I ended up staying another eight and a half years. Not bad for a place I thought I’d be at for three years tops.
But yeah. It kind of tickles me when these people post these job requests. If you want a job, you do the job that needs doing. Never mind whether or not you like it. You want work, THIS is what you do. Need additional training? Suck it up and do it. I can ill afford to be like some of these people, who say they’ve been out of work for two years. How the hell are you surviving? Did you have $100,000 saved up and that’s what you’re living off? You’re just waiting around until someone hires you?
Personally, I don’t have the patience. I’d look for what needs doing NOW, blue collar, white collar, pink collar, whatever the fucking color collar, get training and do it.
I’ve reached the point in life where I will probably never have my dream job. When I come home, whenever that is, I just want a job. Something where I get decent training, they don’t expect me to learn everything on the job in 30 seconds, somewhere they won’t penalize me if I have a question, and I make more than $15 an hour.
So the high blood pressure medicine is working. But my back for some reason is sore. My hips are a bit sore too, so I don’t know what this is, but it’s all rather sudden. So I had some TCM at the hospital today.
I normally like massages, but I’m not overly fond with the ones I’ve received in China. In several public spaces (including the train station) you see these massage chairs. I tried one out, and it was awful. I wasn’t relaxed, I was sore as shit.
And even the human massages kinda hurt too.
Today was a bit different. The hospital set me up with a massage table, and I had a couple of people work me over for 25 minutes. They had some sort of oil they massaged into me. At times, it felt really, really hot. Almost like there was a wand someone was holding that had heat in it and they were holding it over my back. A few times I groaned and said it was too hot, but it was taken care of shortly.
Then, after the treatment, I was told not to shower for six hours. Most of the oil was gone anyway, so I didn’t have to worry about it staining my shirt.
I was given a cup of hot tea that is supposed to be good for kidney function. That’s something I’ll have to keep an eye on. The tea wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t delicious. It tasted like watered-down celery. I like celery, so that was fine. I’ve noticed here in China tea isn’t like having tea back home. There’s frequently nothing to put in the tea–forget about sugar, or milk, or even cookies to dunk.
I know, it’s healther.
My back is still a little sore, but it was from the massage treatment, not whatever it is that’s ailing me. It did make my back feel better for a little while.
And I’m feeling better overall. Sleeping better too. Doing more exercise, which is a sure sign I’m feeling better too.
I don’t do well in groups of people. And when I mean groups of people, I mean groups of three or more.
I don’t know why, I just don’t do well. I start to get nervous and bored. I suppose this means I’m a narcissist. But I just don’t want to deal. Like the conversation can center on pizza. Say, likes and dislikes. And I’ll try to chime in with a relevant comment, like, “I enjoy American sausage on pizza, but not Italian sausage, because Italian sausage is just too spicy for me.” And the table goes silent. Like I’d just said, “fried chicken pen holder spasm, nail clipper fun bookshelf turd.”
I passed up an opportunity to socialize tonight, because I didn’t want to hang out with my Chinese teacher and others for several reasons. This get together was put off, because the first time the invite came around, I said no. They postponed the dinner for Sunday, something I didn’t pay attention to. I guess this is so everyone can meet the new teacher. But I am not at my best with groups of people. I’d much rather go one on one. So probably the new guy thinks I’m an incredible snob, but what’s wrong with meeting him at another time?
I’m trying to keep my blood pressure down. The new meds are working, but I’d rather avoid situations where I have to be social with more than one person. It’s stressful. It really, really is.
Yet I can get in front of a classroom and talk everyone’s ear off. Yeah, I don’t get it either. But I figure they aren’t paying attention to me either.
I heard that Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert, died earlier this week. The Reddit post I looked at had people chatting about food instead of Adams, which I thought was strange, but whatever.
I have, somewhere back home, The Seven Habits of Highly Ineffective People, a Dilbert collection. I also had a plus Dogbert and an actual Dilbert doll. It’s funny, but working in a cubicle looked somewhat enviable. I was floundering as a worker, the first of many two-job or more stints in my life. No career, just jobs. Journalism wasn’t really working for me, so I knew I needed to find something else.
I got a kick out of Dilbert. I wasn’t a part of the corporate world, but I’d had my fill of shitty jobs, so THAT part I could relate to.
But even Adams couldn’t avoid the pitfalls of self-expression. You can have opinions, but frequently, people really CAN’T say how they feel or else they’ll lose their jobs. I’m hoping Adams had enough saved/invested so that he was okay. A quick check on the interwebz shows he was worth around $20 million when he died, so I guess he was okay, and would have been okay for a while. But all the money in the world won’t stop cancer, when it decides you’re the target.
I’m sad that he seemed so racist. It just struck me as yet another familiar, but depressing opinion from aging white guys who’ve made a few bucks. I used to admire Adam Carolla when he was on Loveline, but he made a few bucks, and then condemned the rest of us. Funny, these guys seem to end up alone. Adams was divorced twice.
Adams isn’t near my age, he’s more my brother’s age, or WAS, but anytime I hear of a creative person dying, it reminds me that I have two unpublished novels, and I want to get them published. It’s not just a matter of querying publishing houses. The big five won’t accept manuscripts unless they have an agent pushing them. I’m hoping I can start looking when I have a break from school coming up. I know I have to at least try.
And I hope if I do ever make it big, I learn enough to keep my mouth shut.
Thanks to my newer subscribers! You’re probably wondering what the hell happened in the past couple months. Some health issues, keeping up with work, dealing with a hugely annoying person that I plan to limit my time with, and watching the world burn. Hoping I can post more frequently. Computer screw ups aren’t making things easier. I SWEAR I tell myself I’m going to post every day, then the internet lags, I can’t get a good VPN connection, cord won’t charge, blah, blah, blech. If you’re new, I post about stuff that happens to me in China, along with occasional commentary on stuff that may or may not interest you. Eggs are cheap here. $1.26 for 10. Why 10 insted of 12? That’s the metric system, baby.
I’m sitting here having a late lunch with a bite of egg and tomato in my mouth when all of a sudden, I have an alarming coughing fit. Like, “are you okay?” fit. Like, “oh my God, she’s been coughing for 20 seconds straight ohmygod maybe she’s choking” fit.
Sometimes this happens to me. Everything will be fine, then all of a sudden, I cough uncontrolably for several seconds. This time I had food in my mouth, and I was mildly concerned I’d inhale it and things would get REALLY exciting.
But, no. I think maybe it was the pepper I’d ground onto my eggs. I think maybe a small piece of it landed on my throat, and my throat said, “fuck that.”
One thing though, about having a coughing fit by myself is I didn’t have someone asking me, “do you want some water?” My mouth is frozen open, my lungs are heaving, there’s still food in my mouth, and you ask me if I want to take a sip of water like I’m some aristocrat? NO! I’ve NEVER understood the logic of asking someone in the middle of a coughing fit if they want water. I don’t understand how pouring water down someone’s throat will help scratch the annoying, ticklish ITCH of whatever triggered the coughing spasm.
And try it sometime. As you’re coughing yourself to death, pick up that glass of water, tilt your head back (ever try to cough while looking at the ceiling?) pour that water into your open mouth and see how that works. Willing to be you’ll be inhaling that water (super healthy, so I’ve heard) and simultaneously spraying it all over God’s creation.
AFTER I’m done with the coughing fit, THEN ask me if I want some water. But not during the spectacle. Unless, of course, you want to be sprayed with a mixture of water, phlegm, and partially chewed food.
Yes, I know this is my first post in a long time. Yes, there’s more to come. But I’ll never figure out why not posting for months increases my views, whereas when I post daily, I get crickets. I also hit a personal high with YouTube in December, where I posted nothing except snarky comments on other videos. My channel hit 10,000 views. Go figure.
It was actually pretty good yesterday. Technology held up, got through stuff from the units, yada, yada, yada. Had pizza for dinner, ordered from Eleme. I finally broke down and ordered from Eleme (food delivery service) for the first time in YEARS last week, when I had a craving for pizza, but not enough to go out in cold weather for it. I felt like a lazy pig, but damn, that pizza was good.
And today’s pizza was good too.
Spent the evening grading papers. I’m almost done.
Baopals is just like Taobao, but in English. I’ve had a hankering for American snacks, so I broke down and bought some caramel pretzels from MiniSo. Of course, they don’t come in the American size. We’re talking a bag containing three “snack-size” packages of pretzels.
They were good, but of course they weren’t enough.
Baopals to the rescue. I really wanted some decent cheese popcorn, so I bought some Cretors Chicago Mix. I’d rather have just the cheddar, but the caramel popcorn thrown in is a nice touch too. I got a notice from Baopals that it might take a while to come.
Or maybe I read the wrong thing. Because I got a text saying my orders came in. They included Campbell’s tomato soup, crackers, cocktail sauce, and (insert heavenly choir here) THE CHEDDAR CHEESE POPCORN!
I was very pleased and having two jumbo bags of cheddar cheese and caramel popcorn
Relax. Visiting a hospital in China doesn’t mean automatic bankruptcy. But of course, being an American, any time I have to visit a hospital, my heart rate jumps a bit.
In China, doctors don’t have the status U.S. physicians do. They also don’t have the same pay. But they do hang out at the hospital. None of these “Minute Clinics” or “RediMed” here.
The reason for the visit was because I swore I saw blood in my urine. I’d been feeling really tired for months now, but my blood sugar has been fine and I’ve been exercising on a daily basis. It could be just general depression, but whatever. I’ve been downing vitamins and B-12.
But I felt for a couple weeks, my urine looked… off. So I contacted a couple of colleagues who made a hospital appointment. Luckily it was my day off.
In China, you prepay when you visit a hospital. No, you really don’t know how much it’s going to cost. But you get a card; looks like an ordinary bank card, at the hospital. You stick it into what looks like an ATM, and put money on the card. I think they base it on what you are coming to the hospital for.
We started off at the gynecology department first. It’s not really related to urology, but I passed if they asked if I wanted an exam. My hysterectomy took everything out a while back, so I don’t have anything to worry about there. I felt I just needed a urinalysis to see if I had anything to worry about.
I got paid a few days ago, so today, I spent close to four hours at the bank waiting for them to do a wire transfer home.
I had to go home and get my old passport, because I showed up at the bank without it, and of course, I ended up needing it. The last time I was there a month ago, I didn’t need the old passport.
But not today. I thought about taking it, but of course I didn’t. So I went back home and retrieved it, then went back to the bank and sat, and sat, and sat.
Then to top it off, after everything was done, I wanted to transfer some momey from the account where they put my paycheck, to the account hooked up to my WeChat account.
See in China, they won’t accomodate YOU, you have to accomodate the bank/employer. So if your employer does their banking at ICBC, you have to get an account there. They won’t deposit your check into China Construction Bank. Or any other bank account you may have. Thankfully, I have five bank accounts and never did get around to closing my ICBC account.
But ICBC is where I keep my “emergency” fund. So my paycheck gets deposited into the “emergency fund” then, I transfer some money out from that account (leaving at least 1,,000 RMB in there each payday to build my emergency fund. Then I transfer it to the account that I use for regular everyday spending. It’s a bad idea to have your emergency fund connected to your regular spending account.
However, the folks at ICBC are suspicious that I transfer a good chunk of money into my China Merchants Bank account that is hooked up to my WeChat.
And today, it took even longer than last time to wire money home, which is a good thing I did this on a day that I didn’t have to work. However, doing this cut a huge chunk into my day, and I was tired when I finally got home. I have plenty of papers to grade but I concentrated on getting prepped for tomorrow. The grading can wait.
But it did kind of piss me off. I feel like I am under suspicion every time I wire money home. It even makes me madder that I’m wiring less than $1000 home, because that’s all I can afford. It’s not like I’m doing something illegal. I’m just transferring part of the VERY small paycheck I get back home to cover the bills I have there.
But now you know I spent my Tuesday afternoon.
And to make matters worse, the ATM ate my card. I had to bang on the door to let staff know my card got swallowed. UGH!
A wedding carriage. Young girls stayed in the room until about age 13, when they were married off. This is what they rode in. I was told these girls basically stayed in these rooms until they got married.
Temple at Huang Zuobin’s house. The furniture you see is from a tree that was 300 years old at the time the furniture was made. The wood is 500 years old.
Pottery room.
One of several little courtyards at Huang Zuobin’s house.
I joined the teacher’s union, and they sponsor trips every so often. They gave me a 1545 yuan grocery card, which is about $266. I stocked up on beef, chicken, personal care products and cleaning supplies.
Yesterday, I went on a trip. And that’s part of the reason why I didn’t post anything yesterday. I was beyond tired when we returned. I think I slept for a few minutes on the bus ride back, but when I got home, even though I had lots of papers to grade, I decided to put them off and sleep. And jeez, I certainly did. I think I made it home by 3:20 p.m. or so, and I continued sleeping until the next morning. Yes, I woke up a few times to pee, but it was right back to sleep for me.
I was shocked at how much I slept. But I’m not a morning person. And going to bed late and waking up early is not a good idea, especially for me. But I like these occasional trips. It was a relatively free way (aside from my union dues) to see a different town and to have a good lunch.
Yesterday’s trip took us to a house that was owned by some guy in pharmaceuticals. Huang Zuobin was his name. The house is huge, and big enough to get lost in. Took him 28 YEARS to build. The house is in Minquing County. The house was hit by Typhoon Nepartak and flooded. It took three years, but they restored it.
A bit of history about Huang Zuobin’s house.
A scale model of what the complex looks like.
These thresholds were kind of high. I’ve seen them before, in temples. I’m not sure if they are to ward off vermin, flooding, or what.
A nice little pond in one of the courtyards.
I love going on these trips. After this, we were treated to a delicious lunch in town, which had the food already on the table for us. I tried bamboo shoots (they looked like thin slices of beef) and also yam beans, also known as jicama. I’d heard of this vegetable, but hadn’t had it until now. It sort of has the texture of a pear, but none of the sweetness. It has a very fresh taste, sort of like alfalfa sprouts, but a lot milder.
Then we got to walk around for a while, and one street were really interesting. It was a combination of commerce and living quarters. The windows were decorated with flowers. It was a pedestrian street, and I imagine it would be very pleasant to live above the shops.
I thought this looked both peaceful as well as trendy. The pedestrian street had a variety of shops as well.
After we walked through the street, we made our way back to the bus and went home. The pedestrian street also had a small museum as well.
A raincoat!
The pedestrian street also had a little museum highlighting stuff made in the area, like pottery. There is also a man from the area who became a kick-ass doctor. Wu Mengchao was his name, and he is the founder of liver and gallbladder surgery in China. He also was a trailblazer in international liver cancer research.
Wu Mengchao!
So it was a nice trip, and also nice to ride in a bus and let someone else do the driving. I love traveling by bus and by train here in China. Because I can take a nap any time I want, and also check out the scenery. Lots of mountains here, which is a novelty for this Indiana girl!
Continued thanks to those who read my blog. Check me out on Medium.com. My handle is Gloriajanelldiaz7.
I watched Jerry Maguire again the other night and the fact the movie centers around Tom Cruise, Cuba Gooding Jr., and Renee Zellweger, I still don’t believe the Arizona Cardinals are real.
I’d never heard of them before the movie came out in what? 1996? Yeah, 1996. I thought the team had been made up for movie purposes. But no, it’s an actual real team.
How it it I’d never heard of them? Were/Are they really that bad? Our family has always rooted for Green Bay. Of course I knew the Chicago Bears, and Detroit Lions, because before I moved, I was literally just a few hours’ drive time from the former two cities. But Arizona???
I STILL think they’re fictional, but I guess they’ve been around since 1898.
But those are just one of my super stubborn, “I know I’m wrong about this” thoughts that I just can’t give up. I KNOW the Arizona Cardinals are an actual NFL team.
I woke up this morning with the worst headache I’ve had in a long time. I get headaches in China, usually right before it’s going to rain. But this was a right behind my right eye, stomach-churning pain that had me wondering if this was a pre-flu trailer.
I took some Walmart Acetominophen, and went back to sleep. I had a mid-afternoon class today, so thankfully I could do that. The pain lessened, so I went to class. But I decided to stay home tonight and get some extra rest. That really helps me if I think I’m coming down with something.
There’s a drama presentation I want to go to tomorrow, so I might spend the majority of the day just hanging around home. Sunday, there’s a day trip I agreed to go on. I really like going on these trips. They sponsored a weekend in Foshan when I was teaching in Guangzhou, and that was really nice. It’s a way to see other Chinese cities for free or next to nothing.
But to have a headache like the one I had this morning was kind of scary. I just looked out the window and the pavement is still dry. So no rain… yet.
It’s been very busy here, and I can’t even look forward to the weekend to relax.
But it isn’t normally like this. It’s just a convergence of stuff to do. Grading, prepping, starting a new Chinese class, English corner two times a week, a drama presentation Saturday night and a full day trip on Sunday.
The day trips sponsored by the school I look forward to, because they’ve been good. It’s a good way to see another Chinese city without the travel costs. As someone pointed out to me, traveling in China is very cheap. Yes, but it isn’t FREE. And if you’re trying to save money, and you make less than $9.50 an hour, maybe you can feel my pain. Apparently lots of people are just rolling in money and can travel all over China. Not me. I’m fucking poor. No matter what I do, nothing gets better.
The drama presentation last year was good, and related to one of the trips I took. I enjoyed the trip so much, I went back this summer to explore more, and I’m glad I did. There was just so much more to the place than I realized.
I don’t think I’ll ever get fluent in Chinese, but whatever.
I’m grateful to whoever is reading. My stats went up in a big way a couple weeks ago. As I’ve told a couple of people, I’d love to say I’m doing spectacularly well, but I’m not. As it is, I just seem to be a cautionary tale.
Lately my blog has been getting way more traffic than usual. I’m not sure why, but thanks! And if you really like my musings about life in China, spread the world!
So last night I had really bad insomnia, even though I took a Unisom, split in half. And when I woke up this morning, it was overcast. And after my last class today, there was just the lightest of sprinkles.
But I made it through both classes today.
For some reason though, my computer would not hook up to the wifi. It’s annoying, because I have everything here on my laptop that I want/need for class. I usually use Kahoot to review for quizzes. But I could only go online through the classroom computer, which of course, is entirely in Chinese. Also, I had to have students log in to the computer for me, because of course, my credentials didn’t work.
But Kahoot thankfully does NOT require a VPN. So I was able to sign in and do the review online.
And I put up another shelf. I saved for several months to get shelving. I rigged up something that is unusual, to say the least, but my initial purchase of used wardrobe doors and plastic waste basket/buckets meant I could create shelving at a dirt cheap price, even for Ikea. No drilling into the walls, none of that.
Of course, I need to be careful where I put stuff. I need three waste buckets per shelf, and to center most of the heavy stuff over the buckets, which seem pretty tough.
I couldn’t find boxes that worked. I thought I did a few weeks ago, but it turns out not. But Ikea is selling packing boxes, so rolling my eyes, I picked up a few. I’ll have to cut them down, but whatever. I have white drawing paper on a roll, so I can wrap the boxes up, and not have them be so brown and moving-ish. When you’re poor, you have to work with what you can afford, or already have.
Even so, the shelves look way better than having sagging, more than a year old moving boxes to keep the stuff I want handy nearby. When I went to Ikea last week, they had a lot more doors. I didn’t want to spend the money, but when next paycheck rolls around, I might snag a couple more for my spare room. There’s hardly any floor space in there, so walking is a hazard. And I can plunk the boxes of craft/clothes/handbags/office supplies on shelving and maybe turn the floor space into a yoga area.
It also makes me realize I have way too much stuff. But it never fails–whenever I throw something away, just weeks later, I need it.
Pics to follow soon about my transformed living room. I’m pretty sure I took a before shot of my saggy-ass moving boxes. Now to take pics of what it looks like, which is better.
I got done what I needed to get done for tomorrow. Plus, I don’t have to get up too early, so that’s another good thing. Went for a walk today. And that’s really all I’ve got done.
It’s finally cooled off, which is very nice. I’m not dripping sweat five minutes after I leave the apartment. It means I can wear makeup again, and maybe style my hair, because I’m not sweating buckets.
And my hair is finally long enough for a ponytail. A small ponytail, but a ponytail nonetheless. I made a huge mistake getting my hair cut in January. It seems like no matter how I style it, it always looks the same. Like a poodle. A puffy afro. Or, as my mother would say, “a bubble bob.”
When I first got my hair cut, it didn’t look the way I wanted at all. So I spent about $40 on hair crap to see if I could make it look right. If it looked right at home, it didn’t a half hour after I went out the door. The stylist said I would look elegant. I just ended up looking like a fat lesbian. Which would be fine if I WERE a fat lesbian, instead, I’m just fat.
And I’m convinced I have a fat liver and cortisol problems. I feel like I don’t eat very much, but I haven’t lost any more weight. I’m down to maybe one meal a day and a snack. I usually try to start the day with fruit, but some days I’m just not hungry, so I end up eating lunch for breakfast.
But the idea of eating nothing but meat for days/months on end sounds disgusting. I like meat, but I think I’d like it better if I could eat the kind and quality of meat that I wanted to. That won’t be happening in China. And even so, I like my veggies. I like tomatoes with my bacon, and yes, I KNOW that tomatoes are technically fruit. II like artisan lettuce with my chicken. I’ve replicated the Wendy’s Apple Pecan Salad here in China, and it is WONDERFUL. I need to make that again, because that sounds really good right now.
I slept super late today. For some reason, it’s taking me a very long time to get started when I don’t have any particular time or reason to get up.
But I got some prepping done today. Not all of it, but a good start on it. I am back down to five classes, so I’m going to have a little more time to do stuff. Which is good.
I went for a walk tonight. Still no Campus Kitten. I think I’ll never see her again, which is sad. I hope she has a good life. I am glad that I helped keep her alive for several weeks. It’s just hard not knowing. Her food bowl was gone again, but the water dish was still there. Weird.
It’s cooled off so it was very pleasant to walk. But the melancholy remains.
October 25 my stats on here exploded. I can’t figure it out. For years, I have like 10 views a day, if I’m lucky. This past week, I had hundreds of views. Not sure why. Doesn’t matter what I post, or my tags or whatever. But this week, it was huge. Whatever it is, thank you for reading.
So I haven’t seen Campus Kitten in days. The last time I saw her was Sunday, I think. Monday, one of the vertical bars was out of its hole, making an eight-inch opening in the fence. She’s so small, she didn’t need that space, but I’m wondering if someone raised the vertica bar, reached in and grabbed her.
I got her used to being petted and her back scratched, so a friendly enough person could have grabbed her.
When I went by there today, it was three times. I put food and water down for her, and I brought bowls. Two of the bowls were out of reach, so it’s a good thing I brought new bowls. I called for her, but nothing. On my way back I stopped by, and called for her, and nothing. I stopped back again tonight, and nothing. Her water bowl was still there, and two of the bowls I couldn’t reach were there, but her food dish was gone.
I feel guilty. I thought about adopting her, but years ago when my dog died, I vowed never to adopt another animal unless I had the money to properly care for it. My dog died before I could get her to the vet, but maybe it would have happened anyway. She was over 17 years old. But I still felt guilty. I hated being so poor. I struggle and struggle and struggle, and I mean STRUGGLE. And I’m still struggling and wondering if this is going to be my life. It HAS been my life and I’m fucking tired of it.
I came here to China to earn and save money so I could buy out my brother’s share of the house. I hardly have any money saved. I feel like a fucking failure. And so that’s why I’ve not gotten any pets. Right now, based on a 40-hour work week, I make less than $9.50 an hour after taxes.
So yeah, not feeling very happy right now. Sometimes I feel I don’t deserve a happy life.
Or a pet.
It’s ironic, I worried and worried how to bring a cat back. I looked up carriers online, looked up airlines to see which ones were pet-friendly, and it looks like I worried and worried for nothing.
I don’t know what kind of money I will have when I have to leave. There’s some sort of pension that I pay into, but I don’t think I’ll be working long enough to get it. Supposedly, when I leave China, I’ll get that money. But I worry that something got fucked up and I won’t get anything back.
And the amount I save per month seems miniscule. It’s funny–people ask me if I go to the canteen to eat, but I refuse. If I have to pay anything, it’s not free. And people say, “well, it’s 12 yuan, it’s basically nothing.” True, but 12 yuan is NOT the same as free. And if I don’t like the food, it’s a waste of money. And if there’s a ton of leftovers and no way to get it home, that’s wasting food.
And I really don’t feel like eating at noon. But you know things aren’t great when you purposely skip lunch, or take a couple handfuls of blueberries for your lunch because A. You’re more tired than hungry, and B. gotta save that money.
So I hope Campus Kitten has a good home. I’m glad I was able to keep her alive for a few weeks. I saw her once with her mom, but I guess mom wasn’t too helpful in getting her food. I remember how much Campus Kitten cried when I first encountered her.
She’s still thin, but at least she wasn’t crying anymore.
It took nearly three hours at the bank yesterday. Since I don’t have class on Friday until 2, you can bet your ass I don’t get up until I absolutely have to. But insomnia, coupled with having to get up and get to the bank by 8:30 a.m., meant I was tired. I was so tired, I fell asleep at the bank.
Then I had lunch at McDonald’s and went over to the campus in the mountains. I wasn’t early enough to do any work, but that was okay.
Then, I went to the English corner. That was two nights in a row. They didn’t invite me to this one because they felt that English corner two nights a week was too much. But it’s in my contract, so I went. It was a lot of fun. I just sat and talked to students from our school.
So when I got home last night, I didn’t want to do a damn thing.
So I went to bed. Slept super late like always, then I went to feed Campus Kitten. She’s letting me touch her now. She’s still thin and really hungry.
Some people from English corner were talking about going to the fried rice place I raved about, but we didn’t go today. We might go tomorrow, and I hope we do.
And I did get some papers graded, but not all of them.
Instead of rice, I had pasted and cheese garlic bread made from home baked bread. And it’s a beautiful night weatherwise. Today was one of those good days.
And the dinner was cancelled because one of the students had a last-minute rehearsal call. But he brought me snacks. He didn’t have to do that. I was very surprised he bought them and then delivered them to my apartment complex. I already dug into the peanuts, which were good. He also brought a piece of tiramisu, and cashews and a bag of sweet and salty snacks, and some chocolate milk. I love chocolate milk and haven’t had it for a long time. It was really nice of him to do that.
I made it to her usual waiting place for me around 4:30 p.m. She wasn’t yowling like she was when I first saw her, but she sounded somewhat desperate.
I talked to someone yesterday via WeChat about how much it would cost to transport her home, should I adopt her. I told the pet travel agent the kitten’s story, and she had all sorts of suggestions of how to catch her even though I can’t get onto campus.
I still have to earn her trust though. She’s let me pet her, but it’s not like she CRAVES to be petted. She won’t eat out of my hand yet. I’m scattering bits of food along the bottom bricks of the fence. Maybe someday she’ll climb up and sit there while I pet her.
Next I have to see if there are any good cat boarding places nearby, just in case.
I’m torn. I worry about her, but do I want the responsibilty? I feel like I failed with Daphne. I fostered Summit with a good friend and total animal lover, so she was in good hands. But I felt guilty about leaving Summit. I hope she forgives me. Her health deteriorated, and she was put down about a year and a half ago. She wasn’t the most affectionate cat, but I found her too, and felt bad for her, being so tiny and seemingly alone in the world, eyes sealed shut because of a grass allergy. I took her home, fed her Iams for a year, and she lived for 15 years.
But I still felt I said goodbye in less than ideal circumstances. Getting her into her carrier wasn’t pleasant, and she was probably wondering what the hell was going on. But better than leaving her at the shelter, or with a total stranger.
Didn’t really get to sleep until past 8 this morning. Fortunately, I didn’t have to go to class until 2. So I got a little sleep. I performed pretty well for being so sleep deprived. I bought some melatonin. The Unisom won’t be here until another few weeks.
And I checked my blood sugar this morning. Perfect as can be. WTF?
I had a really great supper. Pepper steak over white rice was good. I woke up this morning with a weird stomach. I found the mint gum I bought the other day and chewed some of that. But it always makes me wonder when I wake up with a bad stomach what caused it.
So I actually had two meals today. Having mint tea for dessert to hopefully ward off the stomach pains.
I certainly slept deep last night. I never know what sort of sleep I’m going to get anymore. It was hard to get out of bed, but I did it. Had to teach yesterday because of the makeup day situation. I had one of my classes write about how they felt about having a long vacation, but having to come in the weekend before for one day, and then come in for a weekend after for one day. Nobody seems to like it. They don’t like having their plans disrupted, and it throws them off schedule.
Because of this, I have them play Scrabble. This Saturday class I had I had them write dialogue using the words they made during the Scrabble game. It’s an oral English class after all.
Maybe I’m upset about Diane Keaton. I only really knew her from The Godfather and Annie Hall, but I always wonder if I should go, would I be satisfied with what I’d done? I’ve got a novel I want representation for, but I fear I’ll have to self-publish. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, because that IS an option, but somehow it feels like failure. I want to have a bit of money to promote it this time.
It could be I’ve come to terms with my life. Like some things will never, ever, change, and I’d better be okay with that or risk permanent unhappiness. And for every hour I indulge in something mindless, it also reminds me I’m nowhere near where I want to be, and time’s running out. It always has been running out, but if you run into never-ending setbacks, you wonder if you should still go on.
There are so many things I wish I had the courage to change, so many people I wish I would have stood up to and said, “fuck off!”
But I also realized standing up for myself doesn’t get me anywhere either, except the “quit or be fired speech.”
I got paid a day early, which was nice. I was also able to save quite a bit this month so I wasn’t down to nothing before payday. I’m not sure how that happened, but after thinking it over, I have an idea.
I have several accounts I try to put money into each month. Plane ticket home, small emergency fund, real pearls, Ikea, Hong Kong, eyeglasses (the ones I bought a year ago broke) and editing for my novel. For the last three months, I’ve not contribued anything to any one of them, because in July I had a double whammy of blod tests and a broken computer.
So that’s how I ended up with a surplus this month, and it was very nice.
But I’m also behind on saving for these things.
I may try to switch phone providers as I pay waaaaay too much for as little as I use my American phone. Verizon knocked the monthly payments down, but it seems like they do it sporadically. So I may try Mint Mobile.
My American phone I use for minor texting, the occasionall call to the US and verification for some of my accounts. You try to log in, but they say they will send a verification code. You know how it works. So I feel like I can’t quit my American phone.
So we’ll see if I can switch to a cheaper provider. Because I swear, taking care of stuff at home costs more than running a house here.
I’m still sort of in my funk. I have food in my house, but the food bores me. So I’ve been eating out a bit too much recently. And I feel bad about that because I could have saved another $20-$30 in these last few days before payday. But I’m doing really well, considering. I still have more than $200 left and payday is Friday.
Today I went to Pizza Hut. The last time I went there, I had food poisoning, so it’s been a while. I am not sure if it really was food poisoning, or just way too much grease. I had an entire pepperoni pizza plus an order of French fries. I’ve been fine since then. So I just had pizza today.
I walked there and back, and it’s really nice to live so close to things like that. My neighborhood grocery store is going to close for remodeling. What was funny was there was a huge sign at the entrance saying something along the lines of “due to the immaturity and incompetency of the corporate management, we will be remodeling and training the store staff.” I wish I would have saved the sign’s translation. You usually don’t see corporations admitting their faults. But it means I need to find another location of Yong Hui so I can use my discount card. I think I still have nearly $70 left. I need to reorganize my freezer so I can stock up on chicken, salmon, and shrimp so I can have those ready to go so I won’t be tempted to eat out as much.
Finding good frozen pizza here is hard. I remember I think it was Tony’s Deep Dish Pizza I used to get when I lived back home. These pizzas were about five inches around, and were perfect for a very simple lunch. They came like five or six to a package. I’d LOVE to have something like that available. Young Hui had corn dogs available for a while, and I went MAD over those. They tasted just like home. And yes, not the most nutritious of entrees, but those plus tater tots were amazing.
I’ve only made pizza once here. It was okay, but I’d rather walk to Pizza Hut.
And one of my students informed me that Subway Sandwiches finally opened on campus. If I wanted Subway, I’d have to take a bus to Gulou district, stop off and get Lay’s chips at Ole, the fancy western food shop, then continue to Subway. The Subway’s in mainland China don’t sell chips, but the one in Hong Kong does. So if you want the usual experience, you have to make an extra trip for the chips, and I always do. But at least I can walk to Subway now, which will save me about 56 cents in car fare.
I wish I could get rid of this funk though. I am not sure what it is. But at least this month, I didn’t run out of cash. I had a surplus for a change. A small surplus, but that’s nice. Not sure how I managed it, but I hope I can keep this up for the next couple months so I have a little more breathing room by the fourth week of the month.
Occasionally I like making stuff by hand. I think it’s to prove I can do it. One of the first things I made here in China was a bolero, I think it’s called. I refer to it as a “shoulder shrug” but it’s one of those tops ballet dancers wear. They basically cover your shoulders, arms, and just a tiny part of your back. They’re handy in case you are wearing a sleeveless top and want to take something along in case you get cold. I had no idea what they were called, and I decided to make my own. I got a long-sleeved stretchy black top, cut it up the middle, and hemmed it. It was okay. Later, I found out what they were called, and bolero is the correct term, although a quick glance online had one of them referred to as a shrug. Or in German, a “schulterwarmer.”
I like miniatures. I’ve loved them for years, since my mom had that as a hobby as well. I bought a doll years ago for photography purposes so I could experiment with light. Anyway, I decided I’d make her a house out of a cardboard moving box. But I’m not sure what I got myself into. I decided to make her a stove/sink combo. I didn’t even know if there was such a thing, but there is. So I set to work.
I had some wood I’d ordered maybe two summers ago. Some of it was pre-cut, some wasn’t, so I got out the utility knife and started cutting. I also have sandpaper, so I sanded the edges down. I also cut out a sink hole. I collect pieces of plastic packaging, and found a perfect sink.
Front of the sink/stove combo, with oven on the right.
The plastic piece that is now a sink.
I tried to think of low-cost paint alternatives, and I went to MiniSo to see what they had by way of nail polish. I think I went to Sanfu as well to see what was there. MiniSo is a great little store that has something for everyone, sort of like a smaller version of KKV, which blew my mind the first time I looked around in the store.
Anyway, I picked up some black nail polish and some silver sparkly polish for the burners, the faucet, the handles on the cabinets and stove and broiler, and for the sink.
Still in progress, but almost done.
The metal things you put the pans on turned out to be the most time-consuming and complicated. I planned to use wire, but it wasn’t working out. So I used wooden Q-tip sticks painted silver. For the actual burner for where the flame would come out, I saved the snap-on lids from my lemon juice bottles. They also got the nail polish treatment. The metal pan holders have been glued on. But I’m not done yet. It’s looking pretty good, and when I feel it’s done, I’ll be posting a picture.
Had dinner with a friend then went on a walk. Campus Kitten made an early appearance today, further down from when I usually encounter her. I reminded her her food and water bowls were a bit down the fence, and she followed me to her usual feeding spot. I fed and watered her. A video will be coming so you can see her in action.
It’s a warm night here in Fuzhou. Clear skies, a nearly full moon, and 29 celsius which is 84 degrees F for all you Americans out there. I could only eat half my dinner which was 19 yuan ($2.66) so I used the baggie I packed to take the rest home. I bought some beef which I froze a couple of weeks ago, so I can cook that up and add it to the rest of my dinner. How often do you get two dinners out of something that’s only $2.66, including two little bottles of Coke?
Oh, lest you think I have it great (it’s pretty good though) what comes after nine days of vacation?
Today I went early to see Campus Kitten, and lo and behold, she was there! I wanted to get something to eat and also get meds. So on my way, I stopped and fed and watered her. Because it was still light out, I was able to get some pictures of her.
This was the best one today. Tried to touch her again, but she wasn’t having it.
And when I came back, the bowl was almost empty. Looks like I will have to spend some of my 1545 yuan gift card on some more cat food!
I didn’t get to the campus last night. So when I showed up at the relatively early 8:45 p.m., Campus Kitten almost jumped the fence she was so happy to see me. She was crying, so I knew she was hungry. I filled her bowl, then reached out to her, and she let me touch her! It was just the tip of my middle finger, but I pulled back and let her eat. I also filled her water bowl.
The way the fence is built, it’s possible that very soon, she’ll be able to jump onto the low ledge and go in between the bars and be out on the sidewalk. Maybe she can do it already. But if not now, very, very soon.
After my walk, I came back around and put more food into the bowl.
I’ve seen small dogs at my complex, so I guess I could keep a cat if I wanted. But I really don’t have the money. I’m worried about vet bills, and eventually trying to get her home when I return. Or having to take her with me if I move again before coming home.
It was hard saying goodbye to Daphne, and hard to say goodbye to my cat. I honestly thought I would see Summit again, but it didn’t happen. And when Daphne was struggling, I said I wouldn’t have another pet unless I was positive I could take care of it.
So a discovered a YouTube channel that does stereotypes of countries. They are done in a very funny way. The YouTube channel is called Well.
For smaller countries, they go by regions. Canada is sorted by province, and the United States is sorted by states.
I’ve been watching the Spanish stereotypes over and over. The animation style is kinda wacky, but it works. The heads and faces are done in good detail. The bodies are literally black spaghetti. Seriously.
I learned about Caga Tio, and the tradition in Catalan. I’d never heard of this and it’s pretty funny. You can get Caga Tio figures, and also Caganer figurines. I wondered if South Park’s Mr. Hankey was inspired by this, but it wasn’t. Apparently Trey Parker’s dad used to threaten him by saying Mr. Hankey would come out and eat Trey if he didn’t flush the toilet.
Anyway, Caga Tio is a Catalonian Christmas tradition in which a log has a face painted on the end. It is “fed” and on Christmas, little kids beat the log with sticks and other things and the log “poops” out candy and little trinkets.
There are also Caganer figurines in which the figures are squatting and pooping. I guess you can get well-known Spaniards squatting and pooping. And these figures wind up in the nativity sets. I never knew about this until a few days ago. What a hilariously disgusting Christmas tradition!
Campus Kitten made an appearance when I came by around 8 p.m. to check on food and water. Food bowl was empty, water bowl still had water in it, but I got fresh. Campus Kitten seemed a little weepy, so maybe he/she was hungry.
I haven’t seen Campus Kitten in a few days. I went by yesterday, and the bowl of food looked untouched, but it had been moved farther away from the fence than normal. I could barely reach it. The water bowl was gone. Fortunately, I had one with me so I refilled it.
Part of it is that I haven’t been coming by as late as I normally do. The freshmen have completed their military training, so I have three more classes to teach, bringing me to a total of six. However, I have about four more weeks of my argumentative class. They’ve split it up somehow, and I am only responsible for the first eight weeks. Once that is done, I’ll be back down to five classes and a bit more time off.
I hope Campus Kitten is okay. I will probably go by every couple days to see about food and water. There are lots of stray cats here in China, and there are people who will set food and water out for them. Also, it doesn’t get terribly cold here in the wintertime. Although living outside wouldn’t be ideal, it’s better here than suffering through a Beijing winter.
Still, if I never see Campus Kitten again, I’m hoping she grows up as healthy as she can for being an outdoor cat, and has a long and adventurous life. I asked if pets were allowed in our complex, because I hadn’t seen too many, but I saw a small dog being walked in the courtyard yesterday. So it’s possible I may cross paths and become Campus Kitten’s mom, but I really feel uncomfortable adopting a pet.
Pets are expensive. And after my beloved Daphne got sick and I was about to take her to the low-cost vet, she died in my arms before I could get her there. I felt really guilty about that. Then my kitty, Summit, was left with a foster mom because I couldn’t afford to take her with me. Summit developed health issues and had to be put down. I felt guilty about that too. She was probably scared and confused that I took her to an unfamiliar house that had lots of dogs and cats. She lived in the basement and came upstairs periodically, but I have to wonder what she was thinking.
To go from our quiet house after Daphne died, to an unfamiliar place. I knew it would be a good home, and it was, but I’ll always feel guilty.
So even though I could get Campus Kitten a good home, I don’t want to leave China without her.
No Way! Laowai! 
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