It was a good day for a walk, and just generally a good day overall.

Still getting in my 10,000+ steps per day. I’m seeing some results too, which is nice.

Some good things are starting to be habits now. I don’t know how or why they are sticking, but they are sticking. I might skip a day, but it’s rare. I guess it’s not striving for perfection, but consistency.

Today, through one of my school contacts, I got to meet the dean’s son, and to have breakfast at a place near my apartment.

My contact warned me the place wasn’t too elegant. But I said I didn’t mind; there were lots of Mexican places that didn’t look great back home, but the food was really good.

The dumpling place was very popular; people lined up to get either pork or veggie dumplings. You had to walk through the kitcthen to get to the dining room, so that was interesting. The dining room was a bit deceptive; there was another dining room off to the side, so it was much bigger than I expected it to be.

The dean’s son was a very pleasant young man. He spoke about some trauma he had experienced in the past. After breakfast, my contact took me back to my apartment and I told the young man to keep in touch. He explained he wasn’t very social, and I said I understood.

The whole experience was really nice on a beautiful day.

Tuesdays go by very quickly, and today was no exception. It was interesting to see how the exercise in instructions turned out. Students had to fold a piece of paper as per my instructions, without knowing what it was going to be. Most of the classes got it, especially after I went throught the process again, with visuals.

But my last class of the day got it right from the start.

I’m sure a few of them thought by the size of the paper I handed out it was going to be some origami animal, but no, just an ordinary paper airplane.

That air raid siren during my first class this morning was a bit of a shock though. A student sent me a message saying it was just a practice drill. But with the war in the Middle East, anything could happen. It made the last half hour of class a bit of a problem. Lecturing was impossible. And they didn’t give precise times for all of the air raid sirens. It would have been nice if they had said they were going to go off at 9:43, 9:55 and 10:00, but no.

I know it was practice, but still a bit unnerving.

I did 14,063 steps today. A gorgeous day to walk, too.

Good weather, grocery shopped, exercised, and read out on the balcony too. But a bit tired. And relieved.

I go to English corner, a twice-weekly gathering where students have an opportunity to practice their English skills. One of the students is in charge of it, and usually brings games to play. The icebreaker last night was to take a card from Talking Hearts, which includes a thoughtful question on one side, and a fun one on the other.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t answer the “fun” question. It was, “what was the craziest thing that ever happened on a night out?”

I hardly ever go out. And when I do, it’s usually for dinner with one of my colleagues. And nothing crazy happens.

But the flip side of the card had the question, “what are you most afraid of?”

I answered, but started to cry. I felt bad about it, but the question definitely touched a nerve. My time in China hasn’t turned out the way I planned it to be. Of course, some things were out of my control, but it makes me so mad when I have plans that seem rational and doable, and they don’t happen. It’s not like I say to myself, “within five years of living in China, you’re going to get down to your ideal weight and become a model/influencer by the time you’re 56.” No, I never had ambitions like that. I never said, “I’m going to be an astronaut/cowboy/movie star.”

What I wanted to save was a good chunk of money before I had to leave.

I’m nowhere near the amount of money I would like to save.

So my answer was, “I’m afraid of not having the energy to try anymore when things don’t work out.”

I’m afraid of other things too, but I feel that time is running out to achieve my goals. For all my education, I’m dirt poor, and very upset about it. And the biggest regret I have? Good thing that question didn’t come up, because the biggest regret was my master’s degree. What a colossal waste of time and money.

So yeah, I’m afraid I’ll get tired of trying because nothing works out.

And I cried in front of students.

My cuticles are ugly, and I have little shreds of skin surrounding the nail. Hangnails, I think they are called. On the occasions when I wear pantyhose, I run the risk of snagging the hose on the little bits of skin that stick out around my nails. At one point, I carried a nail trimmer on my keychain so I wouldn’t pick at the hangnail, or bit of skin, or whatever and have it start bleeding. The trimmer was to cut that shit.

I peel my nails away, I don’t bite them. So since childhood, my nails have always looked awful. I try to grow them from time to time. The last time was in August 2024, when I was under intense time pressure because I needed paperwork in order to stay in China. And my school claimed they weren’t going to help me. But thanks to the Xiamen Entry/Exit bureau, they got into gear and came up with the necessary paperwork at the last minute. I don’t EVER want to go through that again.

And the nails I was growing at the time got peeled away.

I haven’t bothered to grow them since.

But I’ve noticed that my nails are getting tougher. Especially my toenails. I’d like to have long, elegant looking fingernails, but maybe that is never meant to be.

I’m starting to do that lately, accepting things that may never be.

They never talk about how exhausting hope is.

And I actually felt a little bit better about things.

But I’m also not very hopeful.

We’ll see, I guess.

I only have 61 videos up. I shoul have had more, but you know how it goes. Here are a few you might want to check out.

Disneyland Hong Kong Viewed by a Cynic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B69_gn2-V08&t=3s

I make snarky remarks about the things I see at Disney, then I am brought to tears by riding Hyperspace Mountain. Why did I cry? Because it is almost like being in the battle scene from Star Wars (1977). It is THAT. GOOD. Wish I had some onboard footage, but I don’t.

WTF Foods 7 Chicken Feet https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwU7vwVuSt8

I try the delicacy of chicken feet. WTF stands for “What the Fuck” a series of videos where I try odd or unusual food/drink I find here in China.

Great Wall Mutianyu Section Toboggan Slide https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ccYjdSVbho&t=1s

I take the easy way down after climbing up to the Great Wall. This is a fun way to get down. This has actual onboard camera video.

Gloria and Stephaine Practice Their Chinese! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUsrL-7Mn2U

Our tutor cancelled out on us one night, so we go to my apartment to practice on our own. Let’s just say, our pronunciation sucked, but the translation app spat out some truly epic, off the wall poetry.

I’ve noticed that after April 8, summer begins. It happened again this year. It seems that starting on April 8, the weather becomes summery. And this year, it was no exception. Wednesday was nice, Thursday was friggin’ hot, and today was hot too. The sunset was just a red ball in the sky. And the mountain was in the perfect position to eat it.

The photo quality isn’t so great. Sorry about that, but I had to zoom in to get more detail.

But my Christ, what a mess I had to clean up yesterday. I made the mistake of going without underwear, and on the way to the bathroom, I exploded from both ends. Probably the first time I had actual shit in my living room in my entire life.

I cleaned up though. Still felt a bit woozy today, but in a bizarre twist, my back has felt the best it’s ever been. Go figure.

Pretty sure it was food poisoning. Good thing I had the day off.

I had an amazing Easter dinner, but I forgot to take pictures of any of it.

But boy, it was really, really good.

La Q Tapas in Fuzhou, if you’re interested…

I remember last Friday, and how I went swimming and had a huge meal before going home, showering, and getting ready for bed. I woke up early for me the next morning, and since I couldn’t get back to sleep, I got up and got quite a bit done.

Today, I was soooooo lazy. I don’t understand it. The early part of the day was sunny, but when I finally got up and got out for my walk, it was windy and had cooled off.

But I don’t know why I was so tired this morning, and had additional naps.

And I got a bit done today, at least enough to feel more relaxed about the coming week, which is good.

So admin wants recordings of the oral exams I did back in January, nearly three months ago. I DID have them, but had to go looking for them. Turns out they were on an external hard drive I had. I didn’t want to burden my laptop with over 60 videos, so I moved them.

So of course, I about had a heart attack when I clicked on the folder that said IOE final videos and nothing was there. I remembered how I recorded them, and how much I worried I wouldn’t have an SD card big enough to hold them. I’d recorded them to my laptop, then moved them later. I also had the AOE final exams too, and I’ve copied those.

We had a meltdown with technology. A recording room was supposed to get all these, but the tech broke down. So we did what I’d done before: told the students to record the videos on their phones, then send them via WeChat. I remember painstakingly tranferring them from WeChat to computer.

But geez, this was not something I thought I’d have to deal with tonight after English corner. I thought they were all on my computer, until I remembered I moved them. Then, figure out which external hard drive had them.

But at least I’ll be able to sleep tonight.

What an absolutely gorgeous day!

Last night. I’m sensitive to changes in the barometric pressure. I can’t do anything about that. So I’m not surprised that it rained today.

Made it through the day and had a delicious, homemade dinner, took a shower and got into bed.

A nice thing to do on a rainy night.

And feeling better. Today was a good day.

WordPress reminded me it was my seven year anniversary today.

I’ve been in China a wee bit longer though.

I suppose I should make another Chinaversary video. Those are actually pretty easy to make. Collect some photos from the past year and set them to music.

Oh, and I also got my taxes done yesterday. Damn, I woke up early (for me) couldn’t get back to sleep, finally got out of bed and got stuff done. So weird, but nice after feeling sooooooo tiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrred for the past year or so.

Anyway, got done what I wanted to get done tonight, so now I can relax and enjoy what’s left of my THREE DAY WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And no, it’s not even a holiday. It’s just how my schedule worked out this semester.

Spoke with a former co-worker today. I feel a little bit better about things, but just a little. I’m kinda happy that I have a lot of time to take care of a situation that may not arise anyway. But that’s me, worrying endlessly.

I went swimming last night. The water was too cold, and the locker room was freezing, and the shower water wasn’t nearly hot enough, but I must have had a good night’s sleep. I stuffed myself at McDonalds, and no, I should NOT have done that, but I swam 24 laps and also got more than 10,000 steps in. The pool isn’t very far from my apartment, and there were maybe four other people in the pool. The weather has been warm and cold, warm and cold. The pool is in the basement, so no windows, but as the weather warms up, hoping the pool will, too. The big draw is hardly anyone using the facilities.

What’s weird is that I swear I went to this hotel last fall and asked if they sold pool memberships. They said no, but they also didn’t mention there was a gym in the basement of the hotel, WITH a swimming pool. This is part of the problem with living in China. I would have been THRILLED to find out there was a gym WITH pool in the basement. It could be that maybe I asked about the pool before the gym started up again. I’m thinking the gym that used to be there was the same one I was told about, when I walked up and down that block wondering where this gym was. My map said I was in the right place, but couldn’t find it. When I first moved here, that’s what I wanted. A nearby swimming pool. But maybe the gym closed, and they didn’t get it started back up again until last fall. And maybe I asked the front desk before the new gym management decided to take over.

But I’m happy the gym employee put a hang tag on my door advertising the gym, complete with his WeChat QR code. WeChat has a translation feature, so I got a tour of the gym, and also a free try at the swimming pool. I wired more money home this month than usual, which explains why my emergency fund keeps getting lower.

I told him I’d be back in April. I have no idea how much a pool membership costs, but swimming makes me happy. Not having to dodge people in the pool really makes me happy. And I didn’t see a little kid in sight, which means the pool will probably be cleaner. The water looked nice and clear last night.

I still wasn’t in a good mood last night, so I treated myself to McDonald’s, then chocolate after I walked home. I thought about doing some work, but I thought, “no.” I gave myself a break.

And it turned out to be a good move. I went to bed early (for me) and woke up before noon this morning, and actually thought I could start on getting some work done. Of the nine things on my list, I got four done. That’s amazing, especially for a Saturday morning/early afternoon. Usually, when I wake up early, I usually go back to sleep. But not this time. I watched mindless YouTube content, and never went back to sleep. Getting stuff done feels good.

The moon must be in a weird phase or something. I was told about a last-minute event an hour and 15 minutes from the start time. I told one of my students that I had other plans. This is the SECOND time I have told him to PLEASE let me know 48 hours in advance if something is going on. He apologized, but just reinforces my belief that no one listens to me.

I’m also a little suspicious that my co-worker didn’t tell me the event was going on tonight, as he and I usually preside over these events. We have each other’s WeChats and he saw me today.

He’s starting to act like a former friend of mine. In private, he’s civil, but in public, he goes out of his way to make me look dumb/stupid.

And it bugs me that my life in China hasn’t turned out the way I wanted it to. I have these plans, and these plans seem simple enough and feasible, but they never work out.

Sometimes I feel nothing will.

Tuesdays are my longest days. But it’s fine. The hard part is done, and it’s still early in the week.

Today, it was overcast. My midday nap came easily. During my last class, I looked out the window and saw it was raining. The rain turns the mountains hazy, they become a very light gray. It was a bright overcast; it actually seemed as though the clouds were about to let the sun shine through, but no.

Tuesdays are difficult, but satisfying. It’s very pleasant to climb on board the bus at the end of the day and be driven home. I could get home quicker if I took a Didi, but it’s very nice to relax on a bus. The rain had stopped, and despite a chock-full backpack, I walked home. Gotta get my steps in! I’m averaging nearly 10,000 steps a day, and I’m proud of that. Last week, I took a Didi home once the bus got back to campus. But I didn’t feel as tired today, and walking home was good.

But it’s my last week of sleeping late on Wednesday. My last two classes start next week. But after I’m done with those classes, I’m free to go home if I want. I love my work/life balance now.

But I did get some stuff done. So that’s good. Pat on the back for that.

I felt like I didn’t get much done today, but I did manage to go for a walk, grab lunch, go grocery shopping, finish some grading for a class, and prepare what I want to cover in my classes this week, PLUS I edited and uploaded a video.

But I don’t know what I expect since I sleep until noon on the weekends.

I’ve been averaging over 10,000 steps a day for the last seven days, which is good. But today I just didn’t feel like walking back with a grocery bag full of food. It was a little over $21 in USD, and that got me a bag of chicken breasts, 10 eggs, a big bag of Spanish peanuts, some celery, and cherry tomatoes.

I’ve not been eating well lately. I still want to lose 20 pounds, but I’m not sure how badly I want it.

My back has been bothering me, and I was concerned. A CT scan at the hospital (around $42 USD or so) revealed nothing serious, just age. But the doctor did point out that the spare tire I have around my waist wasn’t helping. A day or two ago, I grabbed my belly and held it, and it was surprisingly heavy. So I can understand why she suggested getting rid of my belly. So I’ve been doing some core exercises. But I really need to do more than that.

Anyway, the video has to do with marshmallows. I got to grill some the other day during a trip, and decided it was time to bring out the two packages of marshmallows I’ve had for months. One was “vanilla ice cream flavored” the other was “barbecue.” Both packages taste like your standard, off-white marshmallows.

I felt lazy so I grilled them in my living room. But I won’t explain why or how. You’ll need to see the video. Click here: https://youtu.be/7_V6luESmlY   

Here are a few of my other videos. I think I’m getting a tad better at editing these things, but I’m realizing how much goes into making a video. Props to my favorite content creators for creating videos I come back to time and time again. You entertain me, plus you lull me to sleep a lot of nights. It’s not to say that your videos are boring; it’s like falling asleep to the television. You keep my mind from dwelling on stuff that keeps me from sleeping.

Hong Kong Disney as viewed by a cynic： I make fun of the commercialization of Disney, get humbled by one of the best roller coasters EVER, and experience a bit of joy courtesy of lasers, fireworks, and some tear-jerking music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B69_gn2-V08&t=2s

What The Fuck Foods number seven was about chicken feet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwU7vwVuSt8

What was last year’s hottest accessory that was so popular, even Women’s Wear Daily did a story on it? Check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkfGVEBhTcY

Got another rejection from a publisher this evening. How was your day?

I already said I was a carboholic. But it seems like nothing else tastes good to me. Hopefully next week I can get back on track.

At least there’s nothing seriously wrong with my back. Just aging.

I didn’t know I’d ordered three small bottles of Dawn dishwashing detergent in addition to the two and a half liter one that came yesterday. The three smaller bottles came today. I gave one to my next door neighbor.

And now you know about my good deed for the day!

I get super tired on Tuesdays because it’s an all day thing, and I’m not used to working full days, but today went really well. Didn’t eat so well for supper, but whatever. I have to come to terms I may never lose this “last” twenty pounds.

But I’d like to. I just don’t know how hard I’m willing to work for it.

The clutter in my apartment is really starting to piss me off. I’ve ALWAYS had a problem with clutter and it makes me so mad. I tried to find some papers tonight, and I looked in all the logical places, but I couldn’t find them. I have updated replacements I can print out, but still.

It’s frustrating. I don’t know how to make it stop. It’s not like I even go out shopping for junk anymore. The bulk of my money is spent on food, transportation, utilities, and medicine. I haven’t bought new clothes in almost two years. I haven’t bought new shoes in a year and a half. I buy magazines maybe once a year. I can’t remember the last time I bought an actual, real physical book. I think it might have been in 2024.

Anyway, that’s today’s gripe. Junk, junk, junk, junk, and clutter all over the fucking place.

Beef peppersteak and crab rangoon made with real crab. He enjoyed it. Had two servings. I’m not a bad cook, I just hate to cook.

We had another beautiful day today, but I underdressed. I wasn’t wearing a jacket, and so I was cold.

I had to do a wire transfer back home, and sitting in the bank for two and a half hours was hard, because it was cold. I was also very sleepy.

McDonald’s was a bit warmer, but not nearly enough.

I got to school and in my office, the windows were open. I managed to close one, but there were stacks of junk between me and the back window, so that one stayed open. But I fired up the giant space heater/air conditioner. It became bearable.

I also went to class, and that was cold too. And frustrating. The technology in there is a bit complicated, and asking for someone to come and help soaked up more time than I anticipated. So the in-class assignment became homework.

But it wasn’t a bad day, except for being cold.

But at least I felt like getting out there and getting some stuff done. Haven’t felt that way in a long time, so getting out on such a beautiful day felt good. Taking a trip tomorrow, and looking forward to it.

Picked up some more proofreading work today. THIS is the kind of work I enjoy doing!

But at least I got my 10,000 steps in.

Fireworks at 4:30 a.m. this morning, and fireworks non-stop since it got dark today. Happy Lantern Festival and end of Chinese New Year!

Sounds like a war zone, but it’s much safer here.

Tell me, are things any more affordable in the states? Feel safer? Are you winning?