Seven Year Anniversary!

WordPress reminded me it was my seven year anniversary today.

I’ve been in China a wee bit longer though.

I suppose I should make another Chinaversary video. Those are actually pretty easy to make. Collect some photos from the past year and set them to music.

Oh, and I also got my taxes done yesterday. Damn, I woke up early (for me) couldn’t get back to sleep, finally got out of bed and got stuff done. So weird, but nice after feeling sooooooo tiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrred for the past year or so.

Anyway, got done what I wanted to get done tonight, so now I can relax and enjoy what’s left of my THREE DAY WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And no, it’s not even a holiday. It’s just how my schedule worked out this semester.

Up and Down, Up and Down

Spoke with a former co-worker today. I feel a little bit better about things, but just a little. I’m kinda happy that I have a lot of time to take care of a situation that may not arise anyway. But that’s me, worrying endlessly.

I went swimming last night. The water was too cold, and the locker room was freezing, and the shower water wasn’t nearly hot enough, but I must have had a good night’s sleep. I stuffed myself at McDonalds, and no, I should NOT have done that, but I swam 24 laps and also got more than 10,000 steps in. The pool isn’t very far from my apartment, and there were maybe four other people in the pool. The weather has been warm and cold, warm and cold. The pool is in the basement, so no windows, but as the weather warms up, hoping the pool will, too. The big draw is hardly anyone using the facilities.

What’s weird is that I swear I went to this hotel last fall and asked if they sold pool memberships. They said no, but they also didn’t mention there was a gym in the basement of the hotel, WITH a swimming pool. This is part of the problem with living in China. I would have been THRILLED to find out there was a gym WITH pool in the basement. It could be that maybe I asked about the pool before the gym started up again. I’m thinking the gym that used to be there was the same one I was told about, when I walked up and down that block wondering where this gym was. My map said I was in the right place, but couldn’t find it. When I first moved here, that’s what I wanted. A nearby swimming pool. But maybe the gym closed, and they didn’t get it started back up again until last fall. And maybe I asked the front desk before the new gym management decided to take over.

But I’m happy the gym employee put a hang tag on my door advertising the gym, complete with his WeChat QR code. WeChat has a translation feature, so I got a tour of the gym, and also a free try at the swimming pool. I wired more money home this month than usual, which explains why my emergency fund keeps getting lower.

I told him I’d be back in April. I have no idea how much a pool membership costs, but swimming makes me happy. Not having to dodge people in the pool really makes me happy. And I didn’t see a little kid in sight, which means the pool will probably be cleaner. The water looked nice and clear last night.

I still wasn’t in a good mood last night, so I treated myself to McDonald’s, then chocolate after I walked home. I thought about doing some work, but I thought, “no.” I gave myself a break.

And it turned out to be a good move. I went to bed early (for me) and woke up before noon this morning, and actually thought I could start on getting some work done. Of the nine things on my list, I got four done. That’s amazing, especially for a Saturday morning/early afternoon. Usually, when I wake up early, I usually go back to sleep. But not this time. I watched mindless YouTube content, and never went back to sleep. Getting stuff done feels good.

Frustration…

The moon must be in a weird phase or something. I was told about a last-minute event an hour and 15 minutes from the start time. I told one of my students that I had other plans. This is the SECOND time I have told him to PLEASE let me know 48 hours in advance if something is going on. He apologized, but just reinforces my belief that no one listens to me.

I’m also a little suspicious that my co-worker didn’t tell me the event was going on tonight, as he and I usually preside over these events. We have each other’s WeChats and he saw me today.

He’s starting to act like a former friend of mine. In private, he’s civil, but in public, he goes out of his way to make me look dumb/stupid.

And it bugs me that my life in China hasn’t turned out the way I wanted it to. I have these plans, and these plans seem simple enough and feasible, but they never work out.

Sometimes I feel nothing will.

No Tears Today!

Felt a bit better today. It’s just hard not knowing. Depending on what I can get on my pension refund, that will let me know what I will do if I can’t find another job in China.

I feel like it took me years to get into the swing of things, and it’s over way too early. Or maybe it’s not going to be over as early as I think.

I’m just really upset that my plans in China haven’t worked out like I thought they would.

Or maybe I’m worrying for nothing. It certainly doesn’t help my stress level or blood pressure.

I Cried Today…

And nothing really bad happened! It’s messed up, but I think I was thinking about the pension fund they give to expats when they leave China. Unless I can convince someone to hire me once I hit 60, I’ll have to leave. And I would LOVE to stay in China for a few more years. I’ll teach little kids, I’ll teach adults, I’ll teach any age, really. I feel like I’m at a place where I am hitting my stride, and it terrifies me that I’ll have to leave in a year and a half.

I’m hoping that my current uni will keep me around. Or a nearby uni will hire me.

But I cried.

A good thing that happened today is that I found a gym with a swimming pool. The guy who works there put a door hanger on my apartment door, and I noticed there was someone swimming on it. His WeChat QR code was on there, so we chatted last night. Today, I went over to check it out, and the pool looked clean and not crowded at all. Best of all, the pool is within walking distance of my apartment. I’ve literally walked past the place dozens of times, but didn’t know it existed because it’s in the basement of a hotel.

But the guy showed me the pool and I took a look at the locker room, and I think I’ll go there either tomorrow or Friday because he said he’d give me a trial run/swim. I’m basically interested in swimming, as that’s my favorite form of exercise.

I haven’t been swimming for months, because it isn’t relaxing. I’ve been going to the Straits Olympic facility. The pool is crowded at all times of the day it seems, and I’ve either been sideswiped, or people swim up so fast behind me I end up accidentally kicking them in the face. It’s not the relaxing experience I want.

And since I have a bit of flexibility with my time during the week, I think I can fit in a Wednesday afternoon swim before going home after my morning classes.

So that was a good thing that happened. I hope that the membership fee isn’t too expensive.

But yeah, I have no idea of what sort of pension refund I’ll get. Expats are supposed to have a certain amount of their paycheck paid to the government, like social security tax in the states. Since I won’t be retiring here, I should get some money back. But if my employer hasn’t paid into it, then I won’t get much back. And when I went to the local social security office, they couldn’t find me. It could be that the delay was because my employer hadn’t paid me yet. I got some information for the city I spent the most time in, so maybe I can call, or someone can help me call and I can see if I’ll get anything back. But I’m thinking I’m too old; I was already too old when I arrived, and I won’t get zilch, except what I get from my current employer, which might be $56 a year. Times three is not very much.

I cried because it seems like nothing I do works. I had high hopes for saving a lot of money here in China, but that hasn’t worked out, and what’s worse, I don’t know why. It’s not like I showed up drunk, or hungover, or continually late to classes or anything like that.

I shouldn’t believe in such things, but it would be nice if I could have my astrology chart read, or an actual fortune teller who could tell me, “yeah, this isn’t going to change no matter what you do,” because then I could stop trying so hard to bring positive change to my life, and I could just say, “fuck it, nothing’s going to work, might as well have fun” and do all the irresponsible things I should have done as a teenager. Even then, I was Miss Goody Two Shoes, and I should have raised a LOT of hell instead of behaving. If there’s a chance that things might change for the better, I’ll keep trying. But if this is a no-win situation for the rest of my life, let me know NOW.

Another Tuesday, Over

Tuesdays are my longest days. But it’s fine. The hard part is done, and it’s still early in the week.

Today, it was overcast. My midday nap came easily. During my last class, I looked out the window and saw it was raining. The rain turns the mountains hazy, they become a very light gray. It was a bright overcast; it actually seemed as though the clouds were about to let the sun shine through, but no.

Tuesdays are difficult, but satisfying. It’s very pleasant to climb on board the bus at the end of the day and be driven home. I could get home quicker if I took a Didi, but it’s very nice to relax on a bus. The rain had stopped, and despite a chock-full backpack, I walked home. Gotta get my steps in! I’m averaging nearly 10,000 steps a day, and I’m proud of that. Last week, I took a Didi home once the bus got back to campus. But I didn’t feel as tired today, and walking home was good.

But it’s my last week of sleeping late on Wednesday. My last two classes start next week. But after I’m done with those classes, I’m free to go home if I want. I love my work/life balance now.

What I Did Today (So Far)

I felt like I didn’t get much done today, but I did manage to go for a walk, grab lunch, go grocery shopping, finish some grading for a class, and prepare what I want to cover in my classes this week, PLUS I edited and uploaded a video.

But I don’t know what I expect since I sleep until noon on the weekends.

I’ve been averaging over 10,000 steps a day for the last seven days, which is good. But today I just didn’t feel like walking back with a grocery bag full of food. It was a little over $21 in USD, and that got me a bag of chicken breasts, 10 eggs, a big bag of Spanish peanuts, some celery, and cherry tomatoes.

I’ve not been eating well lately. I still want to lose 20 pounds, but I’m not sure how badly I want it.

My back has been bothering me, and I was concerned. A CT scan at the hospital (around $42 USD or so) revealed nothing serious, just age. But the doctor did point out that the spare tire I have around my waist wasn’t helping. A day or two ago, I grabbed my belly and held it, and it was surprisingly heavy. So I can understand why she suggested getting rid of my belly. So I’ve been doing some core exercises. But I really need to do more than that.

Anyway, the video has to do with marshmallows. I got to grill some the other day during a trip, and decided it was time to bring out the two packages of marshmallows I’ve had for months. One was “vanilla ice cream flavored” the other was “barbecue.” Both packages taste like your standard, off-white marshmallows.

I felt lazy so I grilled them in my living room. But I won’t explain why or how. You’ll need to see the video. Click here: https://youtu.be/7_V6luESmlY   

Here are a few of my other videos. I think I’m getting a tad better at editing these things, but I’m realizing how much goes into making a video. Props to my favorite content creators for creating videos I come back to time and time again. You entertain me, plus you lull me to sleep a lot of nights. It’s not to say that your videos are boring; it’s like falling asleep to the television. You keep my mind from dwelling on stuff that keeps me from sleeping.

Hong Kong Disney as viewed by a cynic： I make fun of the commercialization of Disney, get humbled by one of the best roller coasters EVER, and experience a bit of joy courtesy of lasers, fireworks, and some tear-jerking music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B69_gn2-V08&t=2s

What The Fuck Foods number seven was about chicken feet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwU7vwVuSt8

What was last year’s hottest accessory that was so popular, even Women’s Wear Daily did a story on it? Check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkfGVEBhTcY