Tuesday’s Money Menu

I’ll confess—I have some credit on Baopals.com. Baopals is Taobao in English, and Taobao is Chinese Amazon. Again, this is from a purchase attempt prior to my last paycheck, so I don’t count it as spending. Anyway, I wanted to buy a Facial Flex (go ahead, mock me) but my purchase was refunded. I bought a few things for my current craft projects (a miniature room project on Domestika and a mini art museum) but tried not to spend it all. Last night when I got home, I was happy to see my popcorn arrived, plus a giant bag (a.k.a. normal size) of Lay’s Classic. I still have some credit left, but I try to stay off that website. I never know when I’ll be tempted by something that’s more than what I have in my Baopals wallet.

Today has been pretty chill. I’m working on work stuff, and also my writing. It was sunny earlier, but it’s clouding up a bit. I had a few chips and Coke Zero today, but I’m not sure if I want to venture out for a wider variety of food. It’s nearly 5 p.m. Beijing time as I write this. It looks like it might rain, and I’m slightly headachy, so I may stay home. If I do, that will mean I have $14.95 to spend. If I don’t, that carries over to Wednesday, and I’ll have nearly $25 to spend! I’m rich, bitch!

I’m on break from my job, which doesn’t start back up until October. So that’s part of the reason saving money hasn’t been too terribly hard. When you’re out and about, it’s too easy to duck into a c-store for water (it’s bloody hot here) or a restaurant, or a mall to just cool off. Then you get sucked into a place like KKV, and you’re like a 14-year-old boy at a strip club and have your entire summer’s worth of lawn mowing money in your pocket. KKV literally has something for everyone—I’ve never seen a store like this before.

The interesting thing will be what I’ll eat for “supper.” Lately, I’ve been eating at odd times of the day—I went full Spaniard a few nights in a row, with dinner well after 10 p.m.

Today, I woke up a bit anxious. Couldn’t get back to sleep, so I got up and went for a walk in my apartment complex courtyard, and faced the day’s tasks like a boss bitch. Feeling a bit better now that I have some stuff done. But not sure what I will do to relax. There’s a weird sort of restlessness going on that’s hard to explain. Anyway, isn’t my apartment complex courtyard pretty?

EDIT: I caved. I walked to Champion Pizza for some shrimp, French fries and two cans of Coke Zero. It set me back $5.60, so I still have $9.35 left for the day. It will carry over into tomorrow, and I’ve got to get some fresh fruit, at least. I ordered some pepperoni on Baopals, and I already have pizza flour and sauce, so if I can get ahold of some mozzarella, I might whip up pizza later on this week. Although I’m sure anything I make is going to pale next to Cut and Eat Pizza, which made yesterday delightful.

Here are some pictures!

My apartment is rather dull, but of the places I’ve lived in Xiamen, this complex has the nicest courtyard. It’s like a park.

The Black Swan Fountain. A popuular gathering place between 5 and 7 p.m.

This path winds around the entire complex. It’s well-maintained, which makes it safer for walking and jogging than braving the sidewalks in the neighborhood.

Monday’s Money Menu

I’ll explain a little bit about my money diet.

I bought a bus pass four years ago that I just found a few weeks ago. I had also bought another bus pass before I got paid in July, so now I literally have hundreds of bus rides. At 13.8 cents a ride, that’s a great deal.

Also before I got paid in July, I bought a swim membership at a nearby hotel. Swimming is my ultimate favorite health activity (besides sleeping) and it’s not just for my physical health, but also for my mental health. No matter how I feel when I get into the pool, when I’m done with my 48-60 laps, I feel like things are going to be okay.

I’m counting money spent from July 15, when I last got paid. So how did I do today?

Well, because I overspent Saturday (by $3.71) that means I only had $6.29 to spend on Sunday. But I took a sleep aid Saturday night and didn’t wake up untl 3:30 p.m. Sunday afternoon. I didn’t bother going out, and I ate at home. Because I didn’t spend anything, I had an additional bit of money to spend today. And I overspent again! But not by much. Today I checked out a pizza place that I’d heard good things about, and it was well worth the $11.34 for a small pepperoni pizza and two Cokes. Champion Pizza changed their menu, and I’d been craving some great pizza for a long time. Cut and Eat delivered. It’s a cute place, and fellow Fort Wayners familiar with Pint and Slice would probably dig it. It’s a friendly, cozy place. Lucky for me, it’s right on a bus line, so I can get there practically for free.

So, since I started the week with a credit, I had $4.95 left to spend today, But I didn’t. That means tomorrow I have nearly $15 to spend, if I want. As long as I average $10 or less for a day, or $70 or less for an entire week, I win. This is the third week, I think, and I’ve been doing really well.

This isn’t the first time I’ve posted about money. I wrote this post a long time ago, but it still made me LOL. It’s chock full of snark and bad words, but funny. Consider yourself warned.

I know one of my friends is worried. I really appreciate that, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be okay. This is an experiment as well as a learning experience. And as much as Dave Ramsey irritates me, I will try “living like no one is now, so I can live like no one else later.”

My $10 a Day Money Diet

So the financial situation isn’t great right now. Chalk it up to my stupidity and desperation, but I want to make $2300 last until November 15, my next paycheck.

I’m not blaming anyone but myself. But I’m getting tired of the struggle, that’s for sure. I will say this will be an interesting exercise.

I’m not a fan of Dave Ramsey because he seems to think everyone is married and the household income is $70k+ a year. I know, seems like bad money for a household, but I’d be happy with $40K a year take home. Ramsey ignores single ladies like me who aren’t exactly earning six figures. We’re out there Dave. Trying to survive.

I’ve taken some of Dave’s advice: the Snowball method and his motto of “live like no one else today so you can live like no one else tomorrow.”

Budget, Survive and Pay a Month’s Rent

Pretty sure no one is living like me right now: I’ve put myself on a money diet: $70 a week, or $10 a day (or less). If, on a Monday, I spend $15, I know that I’m over budget and that on Tuesday, I only have $5 to spend in order to remain within budget. If I don’t spend anything on Tuesday, I can spend up to $15 on Wednesday. Because within those three days, I’ve spent $30. I crunched some numbers. I’ll have to send some money back home during this time and skip a few payments. I’m not happy or proud about that. The goal is to remain on budget, survive, and be able to pay a month’s rent before my check comes. The reason I say a “month’s rent” is because here in China, it’s common to pay every other month, or in my case, quarterly. It’s handy, but at the same time, seeing a huge amount come due quarterly can be a bit scary. I don’t think I’ll have enough for the next quarter. Just the next month.

I also don’t want to completely run out of money either. That would be devastating. Back home, I’d just put in a few more hours Ubering. But in China, I’m not allowed a side hustle. As a foreigner, I’m only allowed jobs that Chinese people can’t do. Chinese can’t be native English speakers, so merely being born in an English-speaking country gives me access to jobs Chinese people can’t do. Plenty of teachers tutor illegally. And with the crackdown on training centers, excessive homework and tutors, I don’t want trouble.

So since I’m on an unpaid summer break (again, my own stupidity) I realized that since my class starts later than the school year, I’ll get paid later. On the flip side, I have plenty of time to work on things. I have an impressive grease-spotted list of several things I’ve accomplished. I have a list/calendar that I jot a few things down on. If I get them all done that day, I’ve done great. Three out of four is certainly okay.

How has it been so far? First week (after my July check) I did okay. Second week is okay. Third week seems okay too. I look for ways to save money. Observe:

Silence that Dripping Faucet with a Wrench

Turning off the water supply under the kitchen sink. I wondered why my water bill was nearly $140 every three months. Recently, while standing in the kitchen, I noticed the dripping faucet. I could either buy a washer (which involves spending money) or turn off the water, which costs nothing. I’d tell my landlord about it, but he was indifferent to my broken showerhead. I used Walmart gift cards I won four years ago to get one for less than $5 USD.

Taking the bus. I bought a new bus card weeks ago, before finding my old one, which still had more than five dozen rides on it. The cards will save me hundreds. I love you Didi (Chinese Uber) but bye for now.

Saving soap slivers and putting them in one of those mesh bags they sell garlic in. After about six months of this, I have the equivalent to a small bar of soap.

Anticipating a lean summer and stocking up on what I call the “stupid stuff” months ago. Shampoo, conditioner, toilet paper.

Using waaaaaay less toilet paper than I normally do.

Always Have Some Food Stockpiled

Some food is stockpiled too. Frozen ham and bacon. I try to make my fruits and veggies last, and that’s tricky. I always seem to buy way too much or way too little. I was thrilled, however, when I went to a veggie store down the street and got three huge heads of romaine lettuce for 98 cents. I can get ten eggs for $1.40 or so, and if I only want one egg, I can buy one. That’s one of the things I love about China. You can buy smaller amounts of food. That really helps loners like me.

There are other things I do, but I don’t want to talk about them.

My laptop is my entertainment center. I discovered a website where I have found so many of my favorite books from over the years, I still can’t really believe it. Archive.org has some obscure Young Adult books from my youth, and I’m not talking about Stuart Little or Go Ask Alice. The night I discovered it, I’d woken up from a nap I took when I got home on the last day of school. I slept from 6 p.m. or so, until 2 a.m. I web surfed and found the site, and read three books in a row while the sun came up on Saturday morning. It was beautiful, knowing that I could read until I was tired enough to fall asleep again, which is just what I did.

There’s also cleaning, organizing, researching why my plants weren’t growing, sleeping, eating (although not as much for some reason) cooking more at home (I’m not eating out a whole lot either) and taking walks. Occasionally I treat myself, but as scary and stressful as this seems, I’m wondering how long I can do this after the checks come in at the rate of once a month. I imagine this is what being on social security is like. Not that it will be there when the time comes….

The $10 a Day Money Diet

I might post weekly updates on the money diet, especially if my usual Sunday offering is about something totally different. But I just wanted all two of you to know how things are right now.

For example, yesterday, Saturday, I went a bit over budget. I spent $13.71. That meant I had $6.29 that I could today without going over for the week. However, I thought I was catching a cold yesterday. I took a rather strong sleep aid and spent most of today in bed, not going out at all. So I ended another successful week, keeping under budget. Since I didn’t spend any money today, I have an extra $10 I can spend this coming week, if I want. Next Sunday, I’ll post a daily list of what I spent and what I spent it on.

Dave, if you want to reach out to single women on a budget, let’s collaborate! I’m not a half bad writer, and I’ve got cheapskate tips that are borderline criminal.

Key word: “borderline.”

THIS WEEKS CHEAPSKATE TIP: Cut open plastic tubes to get everything out. From toothpaste to primers, get some scissors, Xacto knives, and hacksaws to scrape that last bit of product out. When I open up my toothpaste tubes, there’s easily a week’s left of toothpaste I can still use. There’s even a clever way to close everything up so it’s nice and neat. Details next week.

Let’s Go to the Movies!

My taste in movies can be rather odd. I’m not a blockbuster type person, and I’m not interested in superhero films, so the MCU doesn’t interest me. I will probably see The Flash eventually because my boyfri—er, um, my favorite actor Ron Livingston is in it. But since moving to China, I’ve not been inside a movie theater until a few days ago.

The uproar about Barbie is what led me to Hoyt’s Cinema, a short bus ride up the road. I’m Mandarin-challenged, and so much is purchased online here, but I went up to the refreshment stand and asked to buy a ticket to Barbie, via Google Translate, because I was afraid of the automatic ticket machine. An employee was very helpful (his English was better than my Mandarin) and explained one person couldn’t buy a single ticket. So like a good American, I threw money at the situation and bought two. Turns out the 1500 o’clock screening of Barbie was taking place in the “Couple’s Hall.” (They don’t call them screens here.) The seating was nothing but two person couches. So I had to pay twice as much to see the movie, but I had an entire couch to myself. Luxury! I got my pad and pencil ready, since I wrote about the movie for Medium.

Sugary-Sweet Popcorn? No thanks …

I had visited Burger King, so I wasn’t really hungry at the theater. Yes, they have all sorts of snacks, but wasn’t in the mood for sugary-sweet popcorn, which is how it’s made here. I opted for a bottle of Evian at double the normal price (they charge big-time for movie theater snacks here in China, just like in the states) and settled in. My Evian was $2.10 USD. At the Store Plus downstairs, it was going for .98 USD.

Hall number six had hearts on the wall, and red couches. They also have a “Parent/child” hall, and a “Lover’s Hall”, and I hate to think what goes on in there. However, the floor in my “hall” wasn’t sticky and everything looked pretty clean. I got a prime seat—six rows up, smack dab in the middle. There were only two other people in the theater, so I literally could have sat anywhere, but didn’t want to have anyone ask me to move because I wasn’t sitting in my assigned seat.

I had no qualms about guffawing, gasping, laughing and crying out loud during the movie. The young women in front of me were mostly silent. I imagine a lot of the movie references (2001: A Space Odyssey, The Matrix, Grease, and The Godfather) went over their heads, but they ignored my gleeful noises of delight.

You there! Don’t Be an Asshole!

They run the usual commercials before the show, but not 20 minutes worth of trailers. They did show the general “don’t be an asshole” bit before the film started.

The lights were turned completely off, which I approved of. I took notes by the light of the screen, and I’m glad I did. There’s so much to this movie, it’s like a wet dream for English majors or movie buffs.

Men and women are trashing this movie left, right, and center. If you agree women should be chained to the kitchen sink when they are not being chained to their husbands, I guess you might think this movie sucks. I went into it with no expectations. I didn’t really know the plot. But this movie was surprising. It pointed out a lot of things about men, women, and society. Barbie World is a metaphor. The Barbies there are happy, healthy, have careers, and own real estate—much like men do in the Real World. The Barbies live in Barbie World like men do in the Real World—and I think that’s why men hate it. The Barbies have Kens, but are they the central focus in the Barbies’ lives? No. And Ken, played by Ryan Gosling, is conflicted about this. He feels like he should be more… but isn’t sure how.

Barbie Has an Existential Crisis

Things change when Barbie has an existential crisis. After a party at her dream house, she wakes up the next morning and things are… wrong. Her toast is burnt, the milk’s gone sour, and her feet are… gasp! FLAT! The Barbies say she’ll have to talk to Weird Barbie about it. You know Weird Barbie—her hair is hacked off, marker stains on her face, and she’s doing the splits. Anyway, Barbie can either stay in Barbie World, or try to right the weird, uneasy feeling she has. She opts to go to the Real World. Ken comes along, and that’s when Barbie realizes she’s not in Kansas anymore.

At Venice Beach, Barbie feels like everyone is looking at her, and not in a good way. Her usual cheerfulness is dampened by feeling threatened. Men make lewd suggestions, and she pops one of them in the face. Ken, however, feels great. He’s in his element, and soon, he embraces patriarchy.

Mattel!

Meanwhile, Barbie searches out the little girl who hates her. Turns out she’s a sullen tweenager whose mom works for Mattel. And the recent sketches her mom made upset the Barbie World. They are not happy, confident Barbies. These new Barbies are sad and worried. However, all three of them get together and plan to make things better in Barbie World.

When they return, they encounter a nightmare. The Kens have taken over. The dream houses are now man caves, there’s macho vibe everywhere, the Barbies are now subservient, brain-washed women who forget all they have achieved, and to top it all off, Barbie is now homeless.

Now there are two problems to solve: Barbie’s existential crisis and saving Barbie World, which is now Kendom.

I’ll stop there. But there’s so much to take from this movie! And enjoy the photos of Hoyt’s Cinema at the IOI Mall in Xiamen!

The movie ticket machines are all in Mandarin, so the lovely folks at the counter helped me out. Two for Barbie please!

This way, please. Enjoyed the old timey camera display on the right.

Digital movie “posters” can run ads and are so much more versatile than traditional posters, which are so 2022.

Couple’s Hall 6: All couches, all the time.

Thirsty? Enjoy a double-priced Evian! Still, $2.10 USD doesn’t seem so bad…

Gymkata!

I’ve been fascinated with gymnastics and figure skating since childhood. It’s because I never got to do them. At the ripe old age of five, I developed juvenile rheumatoid arthritis as a kid during a freak accident. After I fell off a balance beam in second grade, my mother kept me out of gym for years. I kinda don’t blame her. If I developed arthritis while falling down playing tag in my backyard, who knew what sort of disaster would happen if I got on a balance beam again? Or ice skates? Yet she allowed me to horseback ride, which involves a 1,000 pound animal. Go figure.

So I knew who Kurt Thomas was. He was the star of Gymkata, but I never saw it. I thought it would be terrible. I skipped it to see things like Desperately Seeking Susan.

It’s Parmistan, not Parmesan

I still haven’t seem Gymkata, but thanks to a Cracked magazine article and YouTube, I’ve seen some of the better/funnier moments of this flick, which turned out to be an action/unintentional comedy. The six minute highlight video on YouTube is hilarious.

Here’s the fashion-model thin “plot.” Thomas has to go to Parmistan (LOL!) to check out a possible missile base for the U.S. He has to take part in “The Game” some sort of super-duper competition that hasn’t been won by an outsider in 900 years.

The “highlight reel” as it were, starts out with Thomas in a red sweater, hair lightened a bit (because only villains have dark hair) taking on some bad guys in an alley. He ruins two bad guys with a jump split. He’s such a badass that the force of his cartwheel is enough to take down a foe.

A Little anti-American Sentiment

The first hilarious moment is when in a market, Thomas and pals are walking when his buddy makes a remark about “a little anti-American sentiment running around”, and takes an arrow to the chest. I don’t know why that’s so funny, but I guess I’m a sicko. There’s nothing more American than getting shot in a market, right? Except this was Parmistan, not the U.S.

Also hilarious is the conveniently placed gymnastics apparatuses (apparati?). There’s always a single parallel bar, or a wall to literally run up, or a pommel horse for Thomas to show off his skills and take at least a half dozen scumbags out. After he knocks out one dude with his bar swinging skills, he asks, “Are you okay? Are you okay? You’ll be fine,” before running off for more ~~gymnastic~~ Gymkata adventures.

“The Game” involves crossing a gorge on a rope while being shot at with bows and arrows. One competitor gets hit, and the camera shot follows his plunge, screaming all the way before slamming onto a rock. Again, this strikes me as funny, and I don’t know why. Maybe it was the sound effect when he fell. The next competitor has the same fate, and his pose when landing is awkward, sort of like the standard pose Family Guy characters have whenever they turf. Thomas not only makes it, but takes out the Ninja waiting for him at the end.

Shots of Thomas’s Package

Then, there’s the staircase scene. As part of his training, Thomas has to walk up a staircase on his hands. The camera angle transforms this movie into an action/comedy classic. We are treated to very long shots of Thomas’s package as he maneuvers his way up. His trainer congratulates him by grabbing Thomas’s well-muscled ankles and shaking them with glee. I think the reason why I laugh so hard at this scene is because it’s the male equivalent of the many, many scenes in countless movies focusing on a woman’s breasts. Except this scene is outrageously funny.

The scene with the female enemy/love interest focuses on a surprise second knife, which basically stuns Thomas into immobility. Who knew!?

The pommel horse scene is the masterpiece. Our hero takes on roughly four dozen Parmistanis either one or two at a time, with plenty of interruptions so Thomas can show off his “Thomas Flair”, which he invented. I love how in the movies, no one ever gangs up on the protagonist. Everyone takes him on one or two at a time. Every time somebody records cellphone video of a fight somewhere, it’s always a mob, arms and legs everywhere and the person being beaten is underneath a dozen infuriated jerks.

Someday I’ll see this. If you’ve never heard of this film, or are curious, check out this clip. It’s hilarious. And RIP, Kurt. You went way too soon.

Gymkata! The Skill of gymnastics! The Kill of karate!

A Shitty, Frustrating Day, Explained!

So a few weeks ago, I had a shitty, frustrating day. Here are the details!

It was a Sunday morning in Guangzhou. I’d been invited to see the sophomores I’d taught two years ago graduate. You can read about that here. So I was up before noon on the next day, headed back to Xiamen. I could have avoided the shittiness, if I’d only checked my schedule in advance, but here we are.

But I didn’t know…

Because of some weird scheduling issue, I had the next day, Monday off. But I didn’t know it when I scheduled my trip. I just assumed I’d have classes that Monday, which made it imperative that I get to Guangzhou by Saturday noon, and back to Xiamen sometime before 6 a.m. Monday morning. I was lucky to get the tickets I needed.

Anyway, I completely forgot what train station I needed to go to on Sunday morning. I didn’t realize I needed to go to Guangzhou south station, and not Guangzhou east. Of course, by the time I got to the right station, I missed my train.

Refuriated!

I stood in line to get another ticket, and was able to look at my school schedule by digging into my Gmail account. I didn’t have any classes Monday. I was both relieved and infuriated by this. (Refuriated?). It meant I could take a train back Monday, but it also meant that if I had checked the schedule in advance, I could have had a leisurely stay in Guangzhou, hit up my favorite food spots, AND appeared in the graduation photo with my former students.

I do stupid things like that, and I hate myself for it.

So, I got the ticket, after the clerk explained to me I could go back to Guangzhou east and use the unused ticket for credit towards a new one. I refused. I wanted to use the high speed train, and now I knew what station it was, I just wanted the security of leaving from a familiar station. Call it stupid, call it stubborn, but, I was sweaty, frustrated, totally exhausted and DONE.

Just Plain Angry

I decided to head back to the hotel. I took the subway to save a few bucks. I thought I knew where I was going when I got out of the subway station, but it turns out I didn’t. After what seemed like an hour, slogging through rain, I found the hotel. The clerk said he could give me my original room at the same price I paid. I said fine. Then he asked me what the original price was.

I didn’t know. I’d booked online, and I didn’t take a picture of the price (though I think I’ll start doing that in the future.) I should have lied and said 200 kuai, ($28 USD) but I’m always afraid of getting in trouble. Anyway, for $75 USD, I got my old room back. I promptly cranked up the a/c, took a shower and got into bed and watched YouTube until I fell asleep. I could have rested a bit, then gone out for a huge meal and perhaps some shopping, but I was fed up. Angry at myself, my lack of planning, just plain angry. I don’t think I even went out for dinner. I just slept some more. My train wasn’t leaving until the more civilized hour of 2:30 p.m., so I’d have plenty of time to have a great lunch, which I did.

I Found My Old Bus Card!

I made some pricey mistakes, but whatever. It wouldn’t be the first time, and it certainly won’t be the last time. I’ve dropped about $2,000 in a little over a year in transportation costs just getting around Xiamen, and I’m kicking myself for that. But I discovered an app on my phone that will help tremendously with getting around cheaply. A few weeks ago I bought a bus card, and just a few days ago, I found my old bus card, which has nearly $10 USD worth of fares on it. With a bus ride being just under 14 cents (if you use the prepaid card, you get a discount) I’ve got bus fare for months.

Sometimes blind pigs find acorns.

WTF Retail

With the one-two punch of a last-minute trip to Hong Kong, plus having half my pay docked for taking time off to go HK (even though I HAD to; it wasn’t like I woke up and decided to take a vacation), money is very tight. Not happy about this, but whatever. I’m staying home a lot. I’m also taking the bus, and I’m kicking myself for not taking it sooner after my return to Xiamen. Twenty-eight cents to go somewhere is a LOT better than spending $7 (or more) to go a few kilometers.

You wouldn’t think I’d be spending time at the mall, but surprise! I have. The malls here are great. And with the heat, it’s nice to get out and walk and not worry about heat stroke. I was feeling a bit down the other night, so I biked to the mall and after Burger King (it was the first thing I’d purchased in days) I decided to walk around the mall next door.

A Bunch of Beauty Blenders?

Shimao Festival City is the more fun mall. IOI, which is next door, has slightly better food choices, but the mixture of stores and services isn’t too extensive. In contrast, Festival has way more stores, an entire floor devoted to actual restaurants (you can’t call it a food court, because it’s so much bigger) and a KTV. KTV is a karaoke chain which has ruined me for karaoke back in the states. Longtime readers will know why.

Anyway, I noticed a huge store I hadn’t really paid attention to. A display looked like a bunch of those Beauty Blenders stacked in tubes all the way to the ceiling, so that’s what caught my eye. I am a sucker for makeup. The humidity here has been sauna-like, so I’ve been going barefaced for weeks now.

What I discovered wasn’t a vertical display of Beauty Blenders. I discovered the most WTF combination of merchandise I’ve ever seen.

I’ve always been fascinated by advertising and marketing. That being said, this store was mind-blowing. I guess KKV is a “lifestyle” store. But I’ve never seen a store that carries such a wide variety of stuff. There is literally something for everyone, from babies all the way up to alcoholic grandparents. Just check out these pictures.

For starters, here’s a curling iron that looks like a dildo. Is it a straightener too?

Caffe Latte is one thing, but Cheese Latte???

I hadn’t seen Stridex pads in decades, but I guess I wasn’t really looking. Anyway, Stridex is popular in China. For 69.9 RMB, or about $10 USD, you can relive your teenage skin care woes.

Hungry? There’s a good selection of snacks and drinks.

And ever more drinks. Why go to the liquor store when you can go to the mall and get shoes, a new outfit, and stock up on party supplies?

Still thirsty? Check out the wine section!

After drinking and eating dessert, you’ll probably feel like grooming yourself. Clip your nails, then pop those pimples with these implements!

After cleaning up, you’ll want to glam up with some fake eyelashes.

But before getting glam, don’t forget a face mask!

While you’re there, pick up some nail polish…

and correction tape, and pen/pencil boxes…

and socks on the left and bath supplies on the right…

and assorted animal figurines (diorama not included)…

and ideas for your own diorama (in-store display not for sale)…

and pillows, and tote bags and men’s boxer shorts…

and more plushies (see those rainbow-colored “Beauty Blenders” in the background? They are actually oversized fake Legos.)…

KKV. Literally something for everyone. Check it out at Shimao Festival City in Jimei, Xiamen.

The Wheels on the Bus…

When I moved to Xiamen the first time, I rode the bus quite a bit. However, since moving back a little over a year ago, I’ve barely ridden. I’m not sure why. It could be because I no longer have my bus card. I rarely carry cash with me. And I wasn’t sure exactly what bus to take where.

Since I’m on summer vacation now, I’ve been experimenting with bus riding again. I’m kicking myself for the money I’ve spent on transportation this past year, but what’s past is past. Instead of spending 50 rmb a day to get to work and back, I can now spend 2 rmb. We’re talking $7 vs. 28 cents.

I hate myself.

I really do.

Save Money Now!

But it means that I’ll save money NOW. And I need to, because I got the unpleasant news I’m not going to be paid for summer vacation. That means after my July paycheck (and it better be the full check; I can’t afford a half paycheck like I got the last time) I won’t get paid again until October.

So why I did I only get half my pay in June? Well, I had to go to Hong Kong for my visa. I couldn’t just mail my passport to them; I had to show up and hang around. I was a bit peeved that my work didn’t schedule my appointment a few weeks later when I had no classes whatsoever. Because they scheduled me during a week I had classes, they had to reschedule. And the process of getting a visa takes about a week. So I also had to take time off.

Imagine my surprise when I went to the bank my next payday and saw about half my check in my account. When I asked about it, I was told it was because I took off five days in a row in May. Yes, I thought, but that’s because I HAD TO. It’s not like I woke up and decided to take an entire week off of work by calling in each day to explain I was in Hong Kong and was waiting on my visa.

In the Baseball Game of Life…

So a lean summer looks even leaner, since I expected to get my full check for May in June. At least I won’t be taking Didi everywhere this summer. I am taking some online courses, so I have plenty to do at home. Someone gave me a bike recently, so instead of walking, I can get there a bit faster. And after having my iPhone 6 for four years, I realized on Apple Maps, I can punch in a destination, and by touching an icon, I can see what bus/subway is available to get wherever I want to go.

But in the baseball game of life, it feels like I’m batting at around .200. I took the bus to work the other day, prepared to go swimming only to find the pool was drained. Swimming at school costs $2.80 each time. So I headed to the resort place where I’d stayed when I moved back the second time to get my swim on.

Outdoor Pools are Not as Clean as they Should Be

I dropped a few bucks on a membership because I LOVE swimming. It makes me happy and relaxes me in a way nothing else does. But it still pissed me off that I had to spend money on a membership. I could take my chances and swim in the swimming pool at my apartment complex. However…

I did that last summer and picked up some sort of bug. The doctor who prescribed some medicine to stop my stools turning to water said outdoor pools are not as clean as they should be. He’s right–the indoor pools I’ve visited haven’t been problematic. I debated for about a nanosecond, but decided shelling out money for a well-maintained pool, with sauna, free shampoo and body wash, and free towels is worth it, instead of getting sick while doing something healthy.

So yeah, win some (taking the bus) lose some (purchasing swim membership).

Or maybe…win more. The last day of school, I came home at 5 p.m. and slept until 2 a.m. I woke up and discovered a website that had several of my favorite Young Adult fiction books on it. So I’ve been spending hours blissfully reading books from my youth for free. Reading as late as I want. Waking up when I want. Napping when I want.

Sometimes the best things in life really are free.

P.S. Thanks for checking out my stuff on Medium.com. Hundreds of views for my take on feminism. Check it out here: https://medium.com/@gloriajanelldiaz7/why-men-hate-feminism-e09885058f63 Someone commented the comments section did not disappoint. And he was right!

The Kids are Alright

Recently, I was invited to a high school graduation. The sophomores I’d taught a couple years ago were now graduating. Of all the students I’d taught in China, I was the closest to this group. I’d fulfilled my 10-month contract, but I hadn’t been asked back. I was disappointed, because this was the best school I’ve taught at here in China. I never really got a good reason as to why I hadn’t been asked back for a second year, and I knew I wouldn’t get an answer. I might even get in trouble for asking. So I packed my bags and moved on, spending two years struggling and bouncing from school to school until ending up at a university (for now)

Spring Break, Prom, Graduation!

I kept in touch with some of the students; we’d reach out to each other time to time. I realized they would graduate this year and asked one of the students when the ceremony was, but true to form, he didn’t know. Chinese planning is a shock compared with American planning. Before the school year even starts in the United States, seniors know when the important dates are: winter vacation, spring break, prom, graduation. In China, you’re told at almost the last minute.

Someone in HR at my old school reached out to me and asked me to come. I was able to get a train ticket, although it meant waking up at an insane hour on a Saturday in order to get there. I ended up being late anyway, and later I regretted it. I’d missed the photo-taking session, because my fat ass (and bigger stomach) demanded we eat at a Guangzhou restaurant known for its authentic U.S. southern food. When I arrived, the ceremony was in swing.

That’s okay. I’d been to the school’s graduation ceremony a couple years before, and I hadn’t really missed any of the good stuff. Shortly after I was seated, I spotted a former student. I snapped a picture of him, then sent it via WeChat. He couldn’t believe I was there, and I told him where I was seated and we exchanged smiles.

It’s Where You End Up

I was asked to make a quick video for the graduating seniors. The videos would be played during the ceremony. And they were fun to watch.

The principal, who was there when I was there, was leaving and he had an amusing speech about his experiences, and the class. I was reminded this current crop of students had the lowest PSAT (or similar) score in the school’s history. Everyone seemed concerned, but I wasn’t. I knew well from experience it isn’t where you start, it’s where you end up.

The segues between speeches featured musical interludes from The Magnificent Seven and Star Wars. No Pomp and Circumstance March Number One here.

Tiananmen Square

They showed the videos after the speeches, and I was curious to see what the response would be to mine. I never really knew how the kids felt about me, even though I knew at least one was upset I wasn’t returning, and another one had said I was his favorite teacher that year. Hearing that made it all the more puzzling I wasn’t invited back. In a weird twist in what has been a strange employment experience in China, the day I was told to look for a new job I was offered a part-time position at the school. I was already working six days a week (prepping on Sunday) and I really didn’t want to work more, but the job was presented to me in a way which made me felt that I had to take it—or else. I felt if I turned down the job, I wouldn’t get the all-important letters of recommendation and work permit cancellation letters. It felt weird, a sort of, “We’re not asking you back because you’re not good enough, but we’re going to work you to death in the time you have remaining here” vibe. To add insult to injury, I was lied to about the working conditions and pay. Jolly! Working seven days a week was taking its toll on me, and combined with literally months of perpetually gray skies, I was comatose from late February until school ended. The first Sunday I was in Beijing, I went to Tiananmen Square and stood under the clearest blue skies I’d seen in months and soaked up the sun in 89 degree Fahrenheit temps. I couldn’t get enough of it.

We Love You, Gloria!

Anyway, I got ready with my smartphone to record the playing of my video. As soon as my face showed up on the floor to ceiling screen, cheers erupted, and a faint, “we love you Gloria” wafted through the auditorium. It felt good to be missed. It’s been decades since anyone cheered for me.

Then, the students lined up to receive their diplomas. Because the class was small, less than 130 students, a bit more attention could be focused on them. As each graduate was called, their photo portrait was flashed on the screen behind them with their English name, a list of schools they had applied to (and scholarships offered) appeared on the right, along with their school of choice at the very top of the list.

Graduations are triggering for me, as they say nowadays. These beautiful, brilliant kids—some had been offered six-digit scholarships—were off to the next adventure of their lives. I blinked away the tears as the students paraded across the stage to “The Champions” on repeat. High school was miserable for me, an experience that I unfortunately never really got over. Like your typical torture victim, I didn’t care what came next, I just wanted the pain to stop. My grades weren’t terrible, but no one really thought I was college material. If only I’d had the guts to scream at administration, my teachers, my fellow asshole classmates that I WAS intelligent—I just was too busy trying to survive being bullied in order to care about my grades. I wondered who or what I could have become if things had been better—if I’d had a mentor. If I had parents who really pushed me grade-wise and put things in perspective for me. If I’d gotten tutoring. If I’d gotten support and encouragement for my writing. If I had better self-esteem. If I’d gone to a better school. If I’d developed a fuck you attitude and not been afraid to fight—physically as well as psychologically. If, if, if.

Then it was over.

Going to the Prom?

The students and parents mingled around in the auditorium, with a few students asking me if I was going to the prom. I’d never been asked before in my life. Until now.

Fuck it—why not?

While I was there, the end of the school year was watered down by Covid—a few kilometers down the road there had been an outbreak. So the last couple weeks of school were online, cellphones and webcams rigged up so students could be monitored at home while they took their exams. I sat by idly on my bed as I watched my students take the exam I’d written for them. There was to be one more class meeting, to discuss the exam and to say goodbye, but it never happened.

The school year ended strangely, quietly. I gave back my Macbook and collected a bit of money owed to me by the school. I spent a few weeks in Guangzhou checking out Chimelong Paradise and a few of the wholesale places before moving to Beijing.

I felt weird about attending the prom, and when HR asked me if I was planning to go, I asked if I could answer later. I’m uncomfortable around large groups of people. But I wanted to talk to the students and catch up with them. The prom was held in the same building as the administration/educators dinner; it was just a matter of heading downstairs after I’d finished eating. Turns out I felt more awkward with the adults than I did with the kids. I wasn’t sure exactly what to say to the adults anyway. I’d tried to avoid my former boss, but he spent a few minutes telling me when he told the students he thought I might be coming back for graduation, they were thrilled. That was nice to know. I didn’t get any passive-aggressive remarks about my teaching ability, which was also nice.

I’m not sure what the students had to eat (I don’t think there was an official dinner for them) but they were arriving with clothes and makeup in tow. I got stopped several times to have my picture taken with them. I got to chat with several students on a nice patio area that overlooked an upscale shopping and dining area.

I Had Missed Them…

I was happy to discover about 20-25 students would be at the same handful of schools. If things got tough, they could talk to a former classmate. And also, they would have some upperclassmen who had graduated a year or two before to talk to as well. One of my students who always worried about her grades got into UCLA. She also said she hoped to see me in the United States. There is a chance that I might be able to attend her college graduation too, which would be astonishing, especially for someone like me.

It was fun to see the students get a little tipsy. A student who told me she’d come out after I’d left asked me if I hated her now, and I said of course not. She’s going to a great school in a liberal part of the United States, and I hope the experience will be wonderful for her.

I told the students I had missed them. I’d also told at least one student that I was extremely disappointed I’d not been asked back just six weeks into my job. I confessed it made the rest of the school year difficult. It was nice to have plenty of time to look for a job, but things being the way they are in China, nine months to look for a teaching job is overkill. The school would have done better to tell me they weren’t asking me back for another year at the end of February. My morale would have been better, and it’s only taken me two weeks tops to land a job in China. My classroom might have been more interesting-looking in terms of décor if they’d waited to tell me I was toast. Knowing I’d be leaving in a few months made me not want to spend very much on fancying up the classroom. As it was, I’d downloaded covers of classic and modern classic literature, took them to a print shop to enlarge, them, then tacked them up around the room. It cost maybe $2 or 3, and I wasn’t about to spend more.

The Kids are Alright

Eventually, the prom wound down. I got one last picture then got a Didi back to my hotel.

The next morning was a disaster—I’d missed my train, and if I’d been smart enough to really check my schedule, I could have avoided the stress of June 18 and actually had as much fun as the night before. But instead, I messed it up. I’m trying to look for the bright side in things, and after returning to my hotel, soaking with rain and sweat, I got my old room back, cranked up the a/c, showered, and watched YouTube until I finally fell asleep, angry and exhausted. Thankfully, I didn’t have any classes the next day, so I was able to get some rest, eat a spectacular lunch, and arrive at the correct train station on time for my journey home.

I’m so glad I got to see “my kids” again. The lowest-scoring class in the school’s history is headed off to college, every last one of them. Some to the U.K. most to the U.S., one heading to Hong Kong.

The kids are alright. I knew they would be.

Another Lame Post

After an emotionally stormy week, I just don’t have the energy to write something interesting.

Sorry about that.