Here I am in China (Part 6) (The Covid-19 Part)

I’d get depressed from time to time, and I’d see things like this. I don’t feel this was a coincidence.

Can’t remember what sort of car this was, but it was a very nice one.

Adjustment, Panic and Triumph

The first year here was adjustment, panic, and triumph. The property management company fell through, so did the replacement I’d hired. It was a good friend of mine who agreed to look after the house, and finally I could relax. I met someone close to my age who taught at the same school I did and we became best friends. We’d discuss teaching strategies and swim on the weekends. One Friday in September 2019, I checked my email and discovered one of my bills had been declared paid in full. I cried. I paid off two other bills before my friend and I celebrated New Year’s Eve in my apartment. Watching the fireworks in Hong Kong online, I had tears in my eyes. I had moved to China, and paid off bills. I felt I was on my way.

Then Covid-19 hit.

“Before” and “After”

I’ll never forget the day of “before” and “after.” January 23, 2020. What was to be a week-long holiday (our school was in session all year round) turned into a four-month vacation. I had decided to stay in China. My best friend was headed back home to get some medical issues taken care of. She was planning to come back and had paid rent on her apartment through August. She suggested I stay there to save money and keep an eye on her things until she returned. Those weeks before we left we hung out at her apartment. Having had a bad case of pneumonia just a couple months after she arrived in China, my friend wasn’t taking chances and stayed at home as much as possible. We ordered in food, watched movies, and I moved my meager belongings to her place. I saw her off at the airport and tidied up my apartment for one last time then went to my new home.

Terrifying, and Extraordinary

I spent the next few months waiting. My school was still paying us each month, but the amount got smaller and smaller. I had some money saved, and I was somewhat confident I could hold on until I got to working again. I wouldn’t have to pay rent until August. Surely, we’d be working before then. But those four months were a revelation for me. I wrote some articles about what it was like to be here. I visited Zhongshan Road, my photographic muse, and shot photos of empty streets. I walked on the beach. I slept late and watched videos and DVDs. I experimented with my video editing and music programs. I was incredibly frugal; the grocery store being my biggest weekly expenditure. I ate a lot of pasta; it was comforting. I lamented the overcast skies that kept me feeling comatose; it was just as well that I didn’t have to work. And I had time to ask myself what I really wanted out of life. I asked myself some hard questions. And I gained more focus into myself than I’d ever had at any time in my life. It was terrifying, and extraordinary.

Here I am in China (Part 5)

What if I Got Shot?

In the two months leading up to my departure, I was paranoid. All sorts of “what if’s” ran through my mind. I didn’t want to do anything that might mess up my chances of getting to China, so I decided not to go skiing one last time. (What if I broke a leg?) Whenever I went out in public, I would scan the location looking for exits and hiding places. (What if I got shot?) I finally realized what I was doing and thought, “is this how you want to live the rest of your life?”

It also struck me that I was doing the same thing my dad did, although under different circumstances. He left Puerto Rico at 30 to study in Milwaukee. Like my father, I was leaving my homeland in search of a better life. He had been a lot younger than I was, but the motivation was the same. He left behind his family, and eventually started one of his own in Indiana. He told me when he left San Juan, it was 72 degrees Fahrenheit. In Milwaukee, it was 15. He also told of racial discrimination. My father was fluent in English, so he had a better advantage than I did, but never lost his accent.

The N-word

I think I couldn’t have done what he did, but I realize that I did do it (with plenty of help from Google Translate) and I am still doing it. He had a family he could return to. But I think he knew that in order to get somewhere, he’d have to leave his beloved island. Puerto Rico is beautiful but poor. By being an ethnic and cultural outsider on the mainland, he experienced life in a way my mother never did. My father often felt many people were against him. He was probably right; I heard snippets of prejudice he mentioned, but I realize now I only heard just the tip of the iceberg. I’d faced my own incidents of prejudice too, from being called the N-word in elementary school, to a high school teacher who mispronounced my last name when he called roll on the first day of school my senior year. When I corrected him, he responded, “I always have trouble pronouncing you people’s names.” Dad had left, and I had left—but I had determination and a goal—to buy out my brother’s share of the house mom had left us.

Here I am in China (Part 4)

Yup, it’s Steve Aoki!

Goodbye to my Retail Job

I had no one. I slogged through fall of 2018 with my six jobs and two classes in the hope that the next year would be truly different. Earned an A in my technical writing class, and a B in my computer graphics course. Notified the colleges I would not be teaching spring semester. Said goodbye to my retail job of 10 years, where I became an expert at matching paint, even red, the toughest color to get right. My column writing gig, lasting a little over 14 years, without missing a single issue, came to an end. A local businessman had purchased the weekly entertainment paper, a sort-of rival to the bi-weekly I wrote for. Since he now owned a paper, it was pointless to keep buying full-page ads in ours. My editor gave me the bad news in an email.

My Last Column

My last column was a review of Bohemian Rhapsody. I got to go to a Christmas party that December, something I normally wasn’t able to do because of working all the time. I remember relaxing a lot. I didn’t even drive my Uber gig very much, because I was tired. A couple days before New Year’s Eve, I remember lying on the couch watching YouTube on my television. I wasn’t doing anything else, like grading papers or folding laundry, I was just lying there watching television, nothing else. I tried to remember the last time I did that. It had been years.

But if it was Something I Wanted, Forget It

I was waiting around on my last bit of paperwork to be authenticated, legalized, stamped and sent to me. I was a bit afraid to leave my house empty, and hired a property management place to watch it. I hadn’t spoken to my brother in years, and telling him I was going to China would have started World War III. For decades, it seemed if he and his wife wanted something, nothing could get in their way. But if it was something I wanted, forget it. Be happy with what you have, was the unspoken sentiment. As I saw it, he would criticize me for not having a good job, but not help me find one. If no one in my hometown wanted to hire me, there wasn’t anything I could do about that except cash out my 401k and use the funds to leave. Moving to another city in the U.S. just wasn’t an option. The proceeds from my meager retirement might get me a month’s rent somewhere, and then what? I knew where my money would go the furthest, and besides, I already had a job lined up. I just had to get there.

Here I am in China (Part 3)

Part 3

Processing Paperwork for China

I also was taking two courses at the community college (for free, since I worked there) to stave off the student loan payments. Any spare cash I had went to processing paperwork for China. I’d had it with struggling in the states for decent work. I was exhausted and deeply stressed out, but I was happy to be working toward something. I’d eventually get out and go someplace where I could make a difference.

Bankruptcy

There were times when I would compare my financial plight to my parents. It took me a while to realize they had made it through tough times, but they had each other. I was embarrassed about the bankruptcy I’d declared after I owed more than $51,000 (324,681 CNY) on medical treatment. It’s a common thing—around 60 percent of bankruptcies in the United States are due to medical bills. One can try to negotiate a payment plan with creditors, but of the six that I had, only one agreed.

You are Alone

The rest wanted the money I didn’t have NOW. But what else was I supposed to do? It seemed like I had always worked since my mother died, but mostly at low-paying jobs. I’d had more education than my high school dropout mother had, but I was doing much worse than she was when she was my age. You are alone, I thought. Mom had dad, and that was the difference. It also made me wonder if that’s what kept them together. It also made me wonder if that was the real reason people got married, and stayed married, even if they weren’t happy.

Arguments and False Accusations

Sometimes I think about the travel photographer that my mother wanted to be, and wondered if she ever regretted getting married. My dad was a good guy for the most part, but I look back at the arguments and false accusations, and wonder how my mother stood it. I look back at the times she tried to carve out space in our small house: sitting in the dining room while my dad was in the recliner in the living room, maybe 10 feet away. Or in the summer, she would sit on our bench swing in the back yard. Later, when dad was sick, she spent hours in our small spare bedroom. Close, but not by his side. I was the one who found him moments before he died.

Next week: Part 4, I guess.

Here I am, in China (Part Two)

Read part one here

The Living Nightmare

I took care of mom in the months before she passed. She asked me not to look for work after I’d been laid off from the post office, because I think she knew what was coming. I thought I could save her if I just found the right doctor. My brother was close by, yet distant. After my mom died, the living nightmare started. I dreaded having to talk to my brother; he was puzzled as to why I couldn’t find a decent paying job. He’d gaslight me. Saying, “if you put as much effort into finding a job as you do yelling at me, you’d have one.”

In Demand (on the other side of the world)

Employment did come, but the pay wasn’t great. And the number of my “side hustles” grew larger. Financially and health-wise, things got worse. I was a sometime writer, but there wasn’t enough local writing work. Terrified to query publications. Cringed at rejection. I was just plain afraid. After getting fired from a factory job in March, 2018, I was huddled under my down comforter, in my 45 degree house (the gas had been shut off). I had earned a master’s degree the year before, and it wasn’t doing anything for me. So I uploaded my résumé to a well-known ESL jobs website. And just like that, as Carrie Bradshaw would say, I was in demand.

Excuses and Fear

I wouldn’t have done this had my mother been around. I’d traveled to many places by myself, or with a friend. But I regret that my mother and I never got a chance to go someplace by ourselves. In her later years, I felt like I had to be there for her. Whatever career ambitions I had were buried under excuses and fear. I wanted to make a living as a writer, and I was, to a tiny extent, but I wanted to make a real living at it. The year she died, I’d scored one of my goals. I finally scored a column of my own in a local paper. People told me they picked up the paper because of my column. That felt good. But I longed for more, and didn’t know how to get it.

I Chose China

Yet, my mother was gone, and so was our beloved Silky Terrier, Daphne. In grad school, I told myself that if I didn’t find work that paralleled my education and work experience, I would teach abroad. China wasn’t my first choice. I’d seen the supremely flawed Sex and the City 2, and was aiming toward working in Dubai, or somewhere in the United Arab Emirates. Instead I chose China, echoes of my mom I suppose. China seemed mysterious. A mixture of ancient and modern. And how could I resist a country that delivered Kentucky Fried Chicken?

Factory Job, Factory Girl

I accepted a job offer in June of 2018, and spent part of my tax refund on a Teaching English as a Foreign Language certificate. While waiting to get to China, I worked yet another factory job that summer, and was demoted my first day. I’d knocked over an entire pallet of boxed chips. Hello, inspection room! Being a factory girl was just temporary, I thought, and also kind of exciting. I wrote about the experience and was paid $2,000 for the article, which was more than I made at the factory. I’d scored another adjunct teaching job at my alma matter, which paid much more than my other adjunct job at the local community college. That fall, I worked six part-time jobs, seven days a week.

Part 3 next week!

Here I am, in China

So, I entered a writing contest sponsored by a website here in China. Lost. I also found out I didn’t win the Reader’s Choice division either. Whoomp! Here it is! It’s plenty long, so maybe I can post on a regular basis for a while. My September and October have been absolutely insane. I should probably write about that too, so I may eventually alternate this story with that story. Things seem to have settled down a bit, I’m glad to say. But damn…what a year. What doesn’t kill you…

So grab some popcorn, a drink, sit back, and read my story.

Umbrellas in Foshan, Guangdong Province.

The Longest Journey Begins with a Single Step

Now that I look back, maybe it was destiny. My mother seemed to have a fascination with Chinese culture. I remember the games of badminton when I was five years old. The Chinese food we got from a local restaurant was legendary. Mom said whenever I was worried about taking on a goal that seemed too big: “The longest journey begins with a single step”, referencing Lao Tzu’s philosophy. She originally wanted to be a travel photographer, but flying made her ill. She had never planned on getting married and having kids, but then, she met my dad. And here I am, in China.

Fort Wayne, Indiana

I inherited my wanderlust from my mother, though I don’t get airsick. From a young age, I always felt that out there was better than at home. I knew from an early age Fort Wayne wasn’t famous. It’s a small city. Millions all over the world could say the same thing about where they live.

Overprotective

My life is unconventional. Getting married or having children wasn’t going to happen. A champion when it came to childhood, my parents allowed me to drag my feet into adulthood. It might have been because my parents had lost another daughter, Elizabeth. My mother was overprotective, to the point where when I was finally asked out on a date (at age 21, and yes, I know that’s pretty old for something like that) she was furious. Never had a chance to ask her why, even though I had plenty of time to do that. I never knew what dad thought. He left the task of “the talk” to mom. He wasn’t much help when it came to how I should behave on dates. Didn’t matter; I barely had any. Life continued. Dad retired and didn’t do much after that. Five years later, he died.

Part 2 next time!

Eighteen Years Without You

It’s been 18 years since my mom passed away. The years seem like a blur, because I was scrambling to survive.

I’m still here in China, and I like to think my mom would be proud of that. Occasionally I dream about her. But the dreams are strange. Like, I’ll be at home, and maybe my dad is there, but mom is out running an errand. She’s there, but she’s not really there.

Me and Mom. Circa 1972. Some photo booth, somewhere.

Really, Really Close

I never would have moved to China while she was still alive. We were really, really close, maybe too close. She was overprotective of me, but even her efforts didn’t completely shield me. And sometimes I feel like I was held back by her. Maybe it was my imagination, but sometimes it seems that way.

But she’s gone now, and there are some things I would have wanted to ask her. Memories of your parents take on a new meaning once you get past a certain age.

Any Regrets?

I want to ask her about any regrets she had, but at the same time, I don’t.

I wanted to ask if she regretted having kids.

She never really planned on it. She wanted to be a travel photographer, but she got airsick.

I’m not sure how to end this piece. It’s a bit scattered. And I think it’s a repeat of what I wrote last year.

Eighteen Years Without You.

I See Traces of Her …

But I miss my mom. I don’t think about her every day, but I see traces of her when I look in the mirror.

She liked doing crafts, and built a dollhouse and made furniture for it. I’m doing the same thing right now. It’s a kit I got on Baopals, the English version of Taobao. Think of Taobao as Chinese Amazon. The dollhouse kit is a bit bigger than your average shoebox. It even has electrical wiring. I’ve been chipping away at it for several weeks now. I have to go by common sense and photos, since my Mandarin isn’t so great.

I wonder if the dollhouses are a substitute for the nicely decorated houses we never had.

Mismatched Furniutre and Way Too Many Dogs

Life looks different when you look back. Yes, we had mismatched furniture and way too many dogs, but there was the promise of the future. I was unhappy back then, but in a way, sort of carefree in a way some of my classmates weren’t. I was still a kid well into my twenties. I didn’t want to grow up. And I don’t think my mom wanted me to grow up either. But, here I am.

Life continues to be like a roller coaster. I may talk about it eventually, but this past September was nerve-wracking.

Eighteen Years Without You.

I would like to think my mom is working some sort of magic, leading me through life, keeping me going every time I think I have reached my limit.

She was a strong woman.

And so am I.

I love you, mom.

End of an Elizabethan Era

The world hasn’t seemed right for a few years now, and with Queen Elizabeth’s death several hours ago, it really doesn’t seem right. I admired her for taking on responsibility at a young age (not that she had a choice), and not losing her mind when faced with nonsense. She’s seen plenty of it.

Dedicated to the End

Maybe she wasn’t perfect. For all I know, she may have had more power than any of us knew. Maybe she was involved with some horrific things. I don’t know. But she was dedicated to the job, and promised to would serve the nation, however long she lived. Being 25 and taking on the job? Her training was pretty damn good, I must say. But I would have been shitting bricks, I think.

As usual, I couldn’t sleep (and staring into a computer screen a foot from my face wasn’t helping) and was switching between checking email, Facebook, and LinkedIn. When I saw that doctors were commenting on her grave condition, I knew what was coming. And probably a half hour later, I saw on Facebook someone saying R.I.P. I Googled Queen Elizabeth II and went over to Sky News on YouTube, and watched for a couple of hours.

Climbed up a tree a princess, came down a queen. (USA Today)

The Queen WAS Great Britain

I cried. I’m American, but I cried anyway. We’re all mortal of course, but this just hits home. There are certain people and things we think will go on forever. The Queen WAS Great Britain. And she’s been around for so long, we probably thought she’d always be there. Our presence can live on, of course. Through photos, writings, videos and the internet, in some way, shape or form, we’ll exist. If you’re famous, it’s a bit different.

(King) Charles in Charge

Strange, though, to think and get used to “King Charles III.” He’s worked all his life of course, but to take on THE job at 73? That’s the bad thing about being King or Queen. You can’t really retire. Well, you can, but there would probably be backlash against that. It was a weird twist of fate that Elizabeth became queen anyway. Uncle Eddie wanted Wallis Simpson more than the throne, and just like that, a future queen was assured. I guess I don’t believe in love enough to give up ruling a country. But I’m a cynic.

So how will Charles do? I don’t know. I was never a big fan of his. But his bad luck happened to be first born male child. I get the sense if King Charles III had been second born, he would have been happier. He seems a bit boring, a bit of a loner, more content to just live life on his own terms. A sort of modern day, real life Ashley Wilkes, the obsession of Scarlett O’Hara. I think he and Camilla would married when they were young, and still be together.

That Tampon Remark was Bizarre

Someone pointed out that Great Britain now has a king who admitted he wanted to be his girlfriend’s tampon. I can only imagine what Elizabeth thought of that. Philip was rumored to have had several affairs. Times were different back then, but it still must have hurt. And maybe she could have divorced him, but didn’t. She cared about the nation too much. And Philip wasn’t too thrilled about Elizabeth becoming queen either. The Royals might have been a trashy read, but still enjoyable for the average reader. Lots of bizarre facts in it. Every family has skeletons, I guess. The weird aunt or uncle, the unseemly addictions, personality quirks and so on.

King Philip Charles Arthur George? (According to Diana, 29 July 1981)

But King Charles III (he could have been King Philip, King Arthur, or King George) it will be, despite the internet saying the crown should go right to William. There are predictions of the downfall of the monarchy. Others say “good riddance.” Some say royalty is outdated in these modern times. Times have changed, but I feel people haven’t. They’re still wacky and violent. Always have been.

There Were Three in this Marriage, so it was a Bit Crowded …

How will King Charles III do? Time will tell. His reputation was trashed in the 90s. He finally got to marry his true love, but people still hold a grudge against Camilla. Me, I personally think you should get to marry who you want—if you want to get married, that is. Charles really didn’t have that choice. I can’t imagine having to get married as part of your duties. And for him, I think, it was a marriage of convenience. Here’s this super young virgin, and Charles was what, 32 at the time? It’s not like he was going to find anyone suitable, who was closer to his age. And poor Diana. I think she really did love him, but he was into someone else. And way too young and idealistic to realize Camilla was always going to be in the picture somehow.

(WWMD?) What Would Mother Do?

King Charles III has some huge shoes to fill. I feel a bit sorry for him because he will always be compared to his mother. I just hope he has some good advisors. And I couldn’t help but think of the theme song from Charles in Charge:

Charles in Charge
Of our days and our nights
Charles in Charge
Of our wrongs and our rights

And I sing, I want,
I want Charles in Charge of me.

From Lyricsondemand.com

Probably some British don’t want Charles in charge of them. Whatever happens, it should be interesting.

WeVoov: Power to the Expats!

What is Going On?

One of the interesting things about moving to a foreign country is trying to figure out what is going on in the city you’re living in. Especially if you move to a country where English is not widely spoken. Since moving to China, I sometimes feel like I’m in a sort of “ignorance is bliss” type of situation. Not knowing about a bunch of stuff means less stress, but if you miss something vital, that could cause problems.

WeChat Groups

My main source of what goes on here has been my WeChat groups. WeChat is sort of similar to Facebook, except you become friends with other people on the platform, and become a member of several groups. Unless you send a message to someone else, or post something in a group, no one will know how you feel. You don’t have a WeChat “wall” so to speak.

So Yesterday…or Three Years Ago

So finding out about Xiamen is a bit difficult. I’ve looked for websites that have to do with the city of Xiamen, but some of the sites are way out of date. The site I’m currently on is showing things that happened three years ago.

User friendly, once I got past trying to scoll down.

WeVoov: Power to the Expats

But I discovered a site that, while it isn’t Xiamen focused, offers a place to get to know China a bit better. WeVoov is expat-focused and a place to post classified ads, read Chinese news in English, and exchange ideas in a forum. There’s also handy tips on a variety of topics, like working, housing, family, healthcare, finance, moving to China, and lifestyle.

I have been to this place shown in the picture!

I Couldn’t Scroll Down Far Enough…

Had a bit of difficulty logging on at first. I was following the directions, but I couldn’t scroll down far enough to sign up. I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong, so I contacted a site staffer who kindly helped me. What worked was zooming out in order to make the webpage smaller. When I did that, I could easily see the bottom of the screen and click on the membership button. Leah was very patient in helping me, and through conversation and videos, we figured out the problem.

Zoom Out

This is a problem I have had on other sites as well, so I learned something too. If you can’t scroll down any further, zoom out so the webpage gets smaller. I don’t know why that didn’t occur to me sooner, but whatever!

WeVoov has different membership platforms. If you are an agent, you get a few more perks. I’m an individual, so I went with that level.

It’s Free!

It’s free to join too, so if you want to check out more about what is happening in China, post a classified ad, or post observations in the forums, this is a good place to do it. This site is more geared toward expats, but if you considering moving to China, this would be a good place to see what you need to have in terms of paperwork. I like this site’s concept! Very impressed and happy with Leah’s help. And now I know if I go to a site and can’t scroll down, zoom out!

Fried Rice on Xiamen Island!

I tend to get the same food at the same places. I think it’s a comfort thing. Like, I know places offer new menus for summer and winter, but I figure if I get hooked on a particular dish they are offering, I have to wait until they offer it again. If they offer it again. Crystal Pepsi, we hardly knew ye. So the food industry would collapse if there were more people like me. I don’t care about the newest Mochafrappalattechino™ offered at Starbucks, because, SURPRISE! I hate coffee.

Chicken Fried Rice

That being said, when I came to China, I thought, “Won’t have any problems finding chicken fried rice here!” And I did find it, in a weird food street/alley right outside my hotel. I. Was. Thrilled. Chicken fried rice (jirou chaofan or jichaofan) just like back home. Looked the same, tasted the same. Then, they went out of business.

Since then, it’s been difficult. I moved to two different cities, and I discovered some good places to eat, but couldn’t find my beloved chicken fried rice. And yes, I went online to look for recipes to create my own. Some of the recipes claimed it was “better than the Chinese restaurants” but they weren’t. At least my versions weren’t. I didn’t care about being able to make it since it was never right. I’d gladly pay for someone else to get it right.

Probably around a quart, maybe? it’s funny, but the Chinese don’t use those little take out boxes here. That must be an American thing.

Tastes Exactly Like It Should!

And Xiao Tan Li in Ruijing Shopping Mall does it right. It’s not chicken, it’s shrimp. But that’s fine. It really is. The rice tastes exactly like it should, and I like shrimp, and they must throw it in at the last minute, because the shrimp doesn’t overwhelm the rice. You get about a quart of it, I would estimate. It comes in a decent-sized bowl.

The full name of the restaurant is Xiao Tan Li Countryside Food, and I guess the Chinese part translates to little fields. “Xiao” means little, in Chinese. They have a good variety of food here, including a meat series, seafood series, fried vegetables, snacks, desserts and rice, soups, and cold dishes.

Spacious and comfy, and not crowded. Located on the third floor of Ruijing Plaza, so eat and then shop. Or shop and then eat.

Fried Rice and Two Cokes

I have been there so often, they have memorized my order, because fried rice and two Cokes is all I get there. Maybe I’ll order something different someday. The sizzling steak looks like it would be close to pepper steak, another one of my favorites. But for $5.74 cents, the fried rice and Cokes are totally filling. Same size portion, lunch or dinner.

Xiao Tan Li Countryside Food

Third floor, Ruijing Shopping Mall (Hongwen BRT)

288 Lianqian East Road

Xiamen, China 361100